so i quit my job today. the reason why i quit is because when i woke up at 6 a.m. this morning a feeling of anxiety and dread filled my entire body. so bad to the point where getting out of bed and getting dressed was excruciating.
i had already missed two days because of my grandpa being in the hospital but i called up there anyways. i said look, im having an anxiety attack i dont have any meds i cant work today.
his reply was well you HAVE to or else you'll be terminated and we'll replace you.
so i told him to go ahead.
but its like i do this with every job. it was even like that with school which is why i dropped out. im fine and then all of the sudden i start getting anxiety about doing my job and going to work and not being able to just curl up in a ball all day and hide from the world. im really sick of this cycle and it worries me because im never going to make it on my own if things keep going this way. i know im not the only one in the world who has this problem but im sick of my anxiety affecting my functionality. im 23, i should be able to stand on my own two feet. and its been a complete struggle to do so.
i have a few questions though
1. in the US is it legal for an employer to threaten to fire someone over a mental disability that has both documentation through doctors and has been legally diagnosed?
2. does anyone know of any resources in the US besides ssi that help people with emotional disorders? i dont mean in the form of income, i mean in the form of treatment and medication and whatnot. i dont have insurance to see a psych or to afford any type of meds.
3. did i just do the complete and utter wrong thing? i feel like i did. i wanted to tough it out and go in so bad but when i get like that its like its not even me anymore. you cant reason with me and i cant rationalize. i feel like i failed big time because i didnt just jump over that hurdle and i told myself that when it happened (as i knew it would eventually) that i was just gonna suck it up and play through the pain. but really, i cant work for a company that cannot work with me on things that are beyond my control. isnt there some sort of law requiring them to?

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and rly, i don't even care.

and rly, you dont even count you twit.

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and rly rly, i don't even care.

counting on the internet.
lol.

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[ o ]==#

"A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong.” - Stella Adler

thanks cala <3

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is just about the same is lying about your age on the internet and stealing peoples pictures and saying theyre you huh?

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my god, don't sick days exist in the states?

on a lighter note, you aren't pisces are you? this sounds like something i'd do...

& fuck off Lilly

they exist but usually only if you have a job that pays salary instead of hourly.
they made me bring in fkn records from the hospital that my grandpa was even there for fucks sake. when i missed work for that they pretty much told me that my job came before my family which is crap. and in a round about way accused me of lying. the fuckers shut their mouths when i brought in PICTURES of him in the hospital.

but today they werent budging. im pretty sure had i not quit and let them fire me i could have gotten some sort of organization to start breathing down their neck.

see, here in america youre not a person. youre a worker bee and the only point of your existence is to fuel our declining economy. didnt you know that robots dont get sick robbie?! thats pretty much what every work place here expects you to be. its wrong and gross on so many levels.


and im not a pisces but sometimes i sure feel like one.
capricorns are supposed to like doing nothing but work. i think my birth certificate lied or something.

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where did you work? what are they supposed to do if someone keeps not turning up?
just get another job, do temp work...they care ALOT less if you dont turn up

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buy me some shoes any maybe take me for cola?

i was doing telesales.
i try to have good attendance but sometimes its hard you know?
but when i was there i was averaging 3-4 sales a day which our quota was two, i was one of the people they never had to get onto about not doing their job, i was the perfect employee outside of having the man who raised me in the hospital and having an anxiety disorder.
i dont feel so bad about it anymore as i just got a call from a friend who works there and apparently a few people quit today (one of them was a longtime friend and told them to shove it because of how they did me, luckily she has two jobs so its not really an issue).
but yeah, apparently im not the only big pussy today so i feel a little better.
i would do temp but temp is too, well, temp.
i just wanna fix my anxiety so its not ever a factor in my work life again.

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never quit if you have a chance to get fired
at least then you can draw some unemployment to get you by

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dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is.

If a job is making you that miserable then you absolutely did the right thing. There's no point being somewhere that fills you with dread and effects your wellbeing that much.
Try and look for another job straight away as unemployment can really effect your self worth when it goes on for too long. You just start unravelling at the seams.
I absolutely relate to your anxiety and all I can say is, it does get better. Eventually you will find a working environment that suits you. You'll have supportive co-workers and find that you actually smile when you go into work. Just keep getting those applications out there. It's a numbers game at the end of the day. Life is never perfect but things can make it more tolerable at least.
Chin up and take care of yourself. You are worth gold and also potential employers will snap you up straight away if you look happy, healthy and are eating well.
Best of luck, I know how tough it is trying to get yourself back together, stay strong x

We become products of our environment because we are genetically engineered for mimicry(monkey see monkey do). We live in the Age of Anxiety, so this is what we mimic.

I live in another world. Mine is serene and creative. I contemplate my own reality; this is called "insane" by conventional people. I live in the Age of Anxiety but am not a product of it. I am a product of the imaginal world; I create my worldview from a more balanced perspective. I just don't buy the bullshit the way I did in the past. You too, can find this world. It's all around. What people see is based in a psychology and philosophy that suits their needs and level of growth. I am a curious person and I question when people tell me "how it is". "How is it?", I ask of myself. From their view they define themselves and their place in the world. I don't allow people to define me any longer--I am self-owned. No longer a slave to the slave masters, but a master slave to the master.

Now, this is tricky, but I would suggest serving others rather than serving your own unconscious needs. The catch is that you promise yourself not to lie for others, and never, never lie to yourself. Do this just as you would if trying to stop an addiction: one day at a time. When anxiety hits it is your body and unconscious mind telling you the truth--only you don't know truth well enough to recognize what your Higher Self is telling you. This throws you into a cycle which leads to greater anxiety. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Don't expect yourself to be perfect; and don't expect others to treat you better than you treat yourself. Love yourself: to do this you must surrender yourself to a much higher authority. If you stop lying (especially little white lies) you will eventually get connected with people who accept you better because people know when you are lying--especially those you work for. This is how they exploit you--by the lies you tell yourself.

Stop lying to yourself and begin your love affair; not with the false image of who you think you are, but with the real you that lies hidden within you. And stop beating yourself up! Then try living by your own advice.


Sophia_

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Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

brixton. shame.

which grampa?

the grampa?

baby baby falling in love. falling in love again.

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In hard economic times, everyone is looking to cut down the cost of groceries, so eating my own ejaculate certainly helps. To think, I've been wasting good food in tissues and toilet paper for 20+ years.

p.s. i read your whole post

i read it.

you are a pussy.

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In hard economic times, everyone is looking to cut down the cost of groceries, so eating my own ejaculate certainly helps. To think, I've been wasting good food in tissues and toilet paper for 20+ years.

Texas is a Right to Work state meaning

even if you cry mentally ill, you don't get any special treatment unless you have disability.

so sry you lost yr telesales job dotty.

i guess the big dream is over now.

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remember, jesus ain't nobody but the guy who cuts my lawn.

i have ptsd, generalised anxiety and depression. also coke gives me panic attacks and it's pretty bad.

but i have to go to work or i;ll literally be homeless. can't even go live with mama, mama is