This definitely fits more in here than in the relationships or sex forum...

I really feel like I have serious emotional deficiency in dealing with relationships/romance/sex. I basically behave like someone 6 years my junior about it, or more like someone completely uninterested.

Its not a general fear of anything male, a good half of my friends are male. I'm quite sensible when it comes to other people's relationships, and when people talk about their lives and their feelings it all seems logical and normal - talking about things not in relation to me doesn't freak me out.

But when it comes to myself, I just absolutely shut down. There are times when I could get with someone and I just turn around and run. I live like I'm asexual even though I'm not. Its not bad experience that has made me like this, more just lack of experience. Like, I know what I should do as a normal sane unconflicted person, but then when it comes to doing it I really can't handle myself at all.

Like we all do stupid stuff when it comes to love/sex and have hang-ups, but this has got to whole levels of really being unable to function.
My stance previously has just been to ignore it and try and get on with things and hope it sorts itself out, but its pulling me apart at the seams.

What are you supposed to do about this kind of thing? Its like a cross between depression, anxiety, phobia and low self esteem but its not an illness or certain problem. Its like is someone going to walk over the horizon and be like "oh yeah I don't care that you're mental, lets just go with it" without me even having to sit down and explain, I really need to sort this out.

So yeah, any help? Believe me this isn't something I enjoy making threads about.

Well, meffsees sister. I'm a little bit like that, but I think it's good you're aware of it and don't try to pursue relationships/poor excuses for relationships anyway. If it were just a self esteem issue you probably would have done a lot of the stupid shit I have. When you find someone worth sleeping with, you just have to be brave and selfish and go for what you want. You might not know what you want until you try. But you seem curious?
Okay this doesn't help you at all but I wanted to give you a reply anyway.

Thank you, Dashmundo. I thought this thread might slip into the no reply error thread pile and I'd just have the shame over my head forever. :fun1:

I hate it because I think I could have relationships, and I'm not totally hideous or picky. Theres just something really wrong where I can't function. Its not just self esteem, its loads of things.

Its not being ready for anything, because I have been for fucking ages really. When you think about how you want something all the time (and I don't just mean sex, I mean the whole deal) and know the only thing thats getting in the way of it is my own inability to cope (which I never fully admit even to myself) - thats something that really needs to change.

I think that people can fuck up either by having relationships and such to readily and them being dysfunctional or by kind of shutting down and just avoiding, but in your head all the dysfunction is still there.

wow, you pretty much just summed up my life in regards to this issue.
i've noticed that i avoid relationships like the plague.. not intentionally, but that's just how it is.
nothing's wrong with me, i am perfectly comfortable with my life and all, but when it comes to relationships and such i just can't deal with it.

i don't know if i should be embarassed about this or not. it is what it is.

wow. are you me?
that's exactly what i'm like.

just wanted to mention that....sorry...can't help you any further since I'm messed up too.

good luck though!