i can relate. i don't consider it a problem myself, but it has caused problems if that makes sense. guys think i'm playing hard to get and go out of their way to impress me and get my attention (i've been proposed to more times than i can count), but i really couldn't care less about boyfriends and relationships. it also gave me the reputation of being a player and a man eater even though i'm totally upfront about not wanting to be in a relationship. and my god the times i've been told that not having a game is my game. booooo.

as for help you should address the real reason why you're this way. for me it began with observing with my mother being pathetic when it came to men.

I'm exactly like that. I have know idea what to do.

I also behave like an asexual even though I'm not. On the contrary, I'm ravenous for affection, but my morals are too strong for me to do the typical silly things that affection-starved people sometimes do. I think it's a combination of shyness and low self-esteem which makes me run from relationships. But, like yourself, I'm sensible when it comes to other people's relationships and have been told that I'm actually quite good at giving advice. I guess my lack of participation in love affairs has afforded me a very objective stance on it all or summat?

It's perfectly natural that you don't know what to do when faced with the prospect of a relationship. We learn from experience, after all, and it could be your lack of experience that's making you fear you'll do something wrong, or that you wont behave "normally". I know I feel like that. Like J-P said, it's good that you recognise this. Some people be despairin' 'cause they think it means they're some kind of social retard but there is a cause for everything and, as you realize the cause of your "serious emotional deficiency" (which is more normal than you seem to think), I have confidence that you'll overcome it. You just need to swallow your fear and take a few plunges as regards all things love/sex. For experience' sake

It's fear of not knowing what to do or if you will be doing something wrong. At least it was for me.

I met the right guy that was patient and I was honest. He didn't mind and was wonderful. If you know you are attracted to someone you have to force yourself to go out with them. A one on one date is easier to see if you like them for sure then in a club.

I know the prospect of a one on one date is scarier (I made my mom and dad FORCE me to go because I knew I would back out) but at the end of the night, I asked for a kiss so he knew I liked him and was interested.

The next date I hinted around that I wasn't terribly experienced and he knew. I didn't say more than that and he asked questions gradually.

There are patient nice people out there. Where are you generally meeting people?

I swear to god I thought I was the last living virgin through highschool. Friends were losing it left and right and here I was. I was even teased at my job because of it. The horror, 18 and a VIRGIN!! Fuckers.

It's more normal than you think, obviously from some of the responses you are getting.

I married the patient dude almost 18 years ago. Where are you meeting people? I think if it's clubs that's overwhelming in itself. You gotta see them outside of a club. Let them get to know you and see you are worth taking it slow.