Well, what can I say? Recently, I've been contemplating my life. All I find is pain. Y'see, currently seeing this lady from Huddersfield, some 80 miles away from me and I am not happy with the situation. She wants an open relationship to fuck other guys and I want to be totally exclusive. Aside from this lady I am falling in love with fucking other guys, I have my own problem of wanting this ex from years ago. She is thin, blonde, intelligent, articulate, 12 years older than me, and everything I ever wanted in a relationship. Sadly, she is with another man and this hurts me.

Another thing is that I communicate with my dead wife. She means the world to me and all I think about is dying to be with her. She is the ideal woman for me, no others compare, and death not ends it - only lack of love...

Another problem is all the junkies in my life. Everyone I know is a junkie. I was a junkie, but now I cant even smoke marijuana because my lungs cannot handle the smoke. It hurts like hell to smoke a joint. The only drugs my lungs can handle are crack and heroin. I admit, I've dabbled with these drugs in the past and these are the drugs I think about a lot. But the pain with dealing with being addicted to these drugs are too much to think about.

Aside from relationship problems, unrequited love, and drugs, I have a pain in my stomach that wont go away. Admittedly the perscription drugs have helped the pain, but its there all the time. It hurts me and has hurt for too many years I care to remember.

Then there is my career, this feels like its at and end rather than a beginning. I have been on disability since the age of 19, and I turned 30 in January without even working a single year of that period. I cannot find work, I am underskilled and even applied for University which is how desperate I am becoming to make a change in my life.

I found God and God found me. We disagree on some things but generally get along just fine. We have a good spiritual relationship, on occasion I read the bible and this I find comforting. Perhaps I was a preacher man in a previous life I dunno.

But, in my small world of the Internet, you behold me as I really am and it is pathetic. A pathetic existence of failures. My life has been one long struggle of pain and suffering, mental illness, failure, and go nowhere relationships. I am sure its the same for the rest of you but for once I'd like to complain about it. I never complain about it. I just accept it. But for this moment I'd like people to know I am hurting and weak. Shit, there is nothing weak about suffering. The daily mysery of existence. I just want to get so high that I die but it never happens. I wish for death on the end of a candle but it never comes. In death I will be at peace with this horrid world behind me ready to fight the good fight against evil. Because, oh shit, that'sa comin'...

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Ezekiel 33:33 Rev 13:16 Lev 11:7
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ن٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱ

blah blah blah
i didn't even bother to read that - but YES to the thread title.

okay my turn....

every tuesday i get together with my new friend and we drink ONLY jim beam and beer and bogan out to bret michaels.

hmm what else - at my work i am made to stack the dishwasher and i have become a total anal bitch about it, and have already sent out three anally-rententive snarky-as-fuck emails to everyone about how they suck at rinsing and putting away their dishes.

three weeks ago i jumped off a boat into the ocean and it was so beautiful and i was kinda drunk and scraped the fuck outta my legs on the bottom of the boat.

i am into lists and routines because it helps with general day to day life.

assuming that you forgot to put a comma in there, i'm thinking you partake of the ass. love indeed

so have you been on disability for being crazy? but srsly, hope yr shit gets together and stuff.

From Huddersfield? Excellent. Can she get me Embrace's autographs?

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Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

Yeah I HURT. Mommy bought me a Vista 2gb dual core lappy too so that's gonna make the pain go away.

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Ezekiel 33:33 Rev 13:16 Lev 11:7
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at least you aren't a fucking android.

you need the ibogaine quest.
other than that, well, you're not an immortal, rest assured, you will die...

that's rough, man...
it just sucks. did we watch you fall apart and do nothing? are we all Dave Grohl and Howard K. Stern?

no wonder why you dont work

50 cent once said you gotta think of how you wanna live then work towards that
so like how do you want to live?

huddersfield!

you DARE! embrace are from brighouse: entirely different kettle of northern monkeys

youre amazing

seriously tho it makes sense!
oh that 50

i've been on the disability pension since i was 18. before that, i was on youth allowance. it really kinda sux. maybe i should do what 50 cent said to do.

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When the glitter fades in the morning, turn away and you will find my empty eyes....your beauty blinds.

It's pretty fucking similar. The McNamaras definitely have a Huddersfield connection. Can you get me a signature from the Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band?

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

nice use of jim morrisonisms. i don't recommend death on the end of a candle though, exploded anus with 90% burns isn't something i'd want our underpaid emergency services to have to mop up.

other than that, yeah, life is shit. hope you feel better soon.

stop trying to upset me, huddersfield is a mecca and brighouse is most definitely. not. ...anyway, no. but i can get you roger davies', i think. or alice nutter's!? connections