I thought that was how it is for everyone?

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No tongue, my lipstick!

Well yeah, but I mean sort of beyond the typical ups & downs. Worse than the average bad mood swing, if you get what I mean?

Sort of a wanting-to-hurt-yourself kind of mood. I'm not crazy enough to do that, but the urge is there. i'm just going to sit here and smoke a lot of cigarettes and let it pass. I know if I indulge myself in it, I'll probably feel worse. & hurt others. etc.

Ugh.

this happens i find, when stressed without realising stress is actually there. are there other things bothering you maybe more than you're giving them credit for do you think?

Yeah I feel like this very much today. I was ok this morning but now really not at all. I went Christmas food shopping and started feeling really sick and then kind of violent hatred towards myself so maybe that was the trigger but I don't know why? Maybe it's all stress lots of expectations are flying around at this time of year I suppose. I get it every now and then, especially after strange social situations usually...

Could this maybe be explained in part by the holiday season being upon us? The holidays have a way of amplifying things that have been simmering, what any other time of the year may be attributed to a simple case of "the blahs" or a bad mood can be cranked up enormously when the onus is on people having to be happy clappy at all costs, it can be absolutely draining.

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"... I don't simply wash my hair, I make love to my hair, it is a process and it shows..."