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Old 10-23-2007, 11:43 AM
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"friend" problems

My friend has been treating me strange for quite awhile. We have never been close friends but we share the same group of friends. Anyway, she was distant towards me, not replying to my messages, when I was around her I noticed things were off. She has always been a moody/overly sensistive person the whole 12 years i have known her so i didnt make much of it. Then her bridal shower happens. I was seated a table in the back of the room away from all her other friends. I didnt say anything to anyone that day. I was disappointed, felt isolated/alienated, and very sad. Despite all that, I didnt complain and stayed for almost 4 and half hours.

A week later, she sends me a message telling me how much I hurt her by leaving early. She berated me for other things as well. I could understand her being hurt but it seemed like more than that. I let her be bitchy to me and I aplogized for leaving early. Since she was berating me, I told her I left early because I felt very isolated/alienated at that party and I wasnt having a good time. But it should count for something that I came to a party in her honor and did stay fo so long. ( this wasnt a get up an mingle party. It was at a country club, assigned tables, where people didnt get up unless they had to use the bathroom or stand on line for food. Otherwise seating wouldnt be an issue). She was incapable of putting herself in my shoes ( had it been her separated from everyone, she would have left in less than an hour). She didnt appreciate that i was there, stayed so long, and didnt complain to anyone despite how I felt at the time).

Now it is time for the bachelorette party. I couldnt afford to go. I live on my own, pay my way through school, and all my bills are due at the end of the month and her bachelorette party was The first weekend of the month. I literally had .47 cents in my checking account when it was time for me to buy the ticket to her bachel. party and I could not afford it. Since she hadnt said a word to me since her bridal shower and we being weird towards me way before that, I didnt want to stress my self and go into debt for someone who would not appreciate it.

After the party, she puts up a blog thanking everyone who came, saying what a good time she had etc... Then she says, " Thanks to all my TRUE friends who came. thanks to all my TRUE friends who came despite their financial problems. Now I know who my TRUE friends are." !!!!!!!!!!!! She deliberately made the distinction of her true friends being the one's who came despite the financial issues. That to be a true friends you have to spend all the money you dont have on her!!!!!!

I blew up. I pointed out to her that a true friend would understand that money is a problem. A true friend would realize that depsite money being a problem for the past 2 years, that her friend still came to her engagement party, her bridal shower, her birthdays, and was going to her wedding and by missing one out of 4 her marriage celebrations doesnt make anyone any less than a friend. A true friend wouldnt define years of friendship on the outcome of one party.

She goes off on me. Tells me how much i hurt her. How i crossed the line and she is un-inviting me from the wedding!!!!!!!!!! She says I was making her party all about me ( which i most definitely was not), that I chose my life and wallow in self-pity ( i live on my own so it is my fault that i dont have money to spend like a spoiled brat and I pity my self for that!!!!!!!!!!!! ) and she feels sad to think about the children i may have someday because i would ruin all their birthday's and holidays because i make everything about me!!!!!!!!!!

I told her she wasnt worth the money I already spent on her. That she wasnt worth keeping as a friend. That she never knew a damn thing about me so dont presume to know now. and that she doesnt have the intelligence or depth to understand anything beyond a superficial level. I also accused her of holding something against me before her bridal shower and that she was just looking for an excuse to blow up at me. she admitted that she was holding something against me since before her engagement but wouldnt tell me what it was.

I am upset because none of our friends tried to smooth things out before it got to this point. No one tried to say to her ( other than me) that I didnt do anything to make her bridal shower all about me. I didnt complain, i didnt steal her thunder, i didnt take any attention from her---I didnt even tell her why i left early until she berated me for it. Our friends are letting her act like a spoiled brat and by doing so, I feel like they are taking her side. When she put up that blog about her TRUE friends, no one told her she was being unreasonable and that attendance at a party doesnt define 12 years of friendship. Our friends told me I should never have responded to her blog and just let it blow over because I should know the way she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I basically feel like I am losing all my friends over such a ridiculous thing. It hurts me I was univited because i lashed out at her for lashing out at me more than once. It hurts me that our friends are nt even trying to help the situation.


Last edited by Angelglo23; 10-23-2007 at 11:47 AM.
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Old 10-23-2007, 11:52 AM
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What a BITCH!!!!!!!! Is she always like this or has she turned into a Bridezilla? I would have given her two slaps loooooong ago.

Your friends probably aren't defending you as you want them to (and, I agree with you, as they should) because they're probably giving her leeway because it's Her Special Day (Her fricking Special Yeeeear, more like it, by the sounds of things) and it's stressful etc etc - it's her party so she can behave like a child if she wants to, you know. Also, as one of your friends said "you know what she's like", it makes me think that they're probably just pleased it isn't them she's gone off on one with, because she sounds a total nightmare to get on the wrong side of.

She sounds like a bit of a 'mare in general, to be honest. If it were me, I'd avoid any more confrontation (so as not to put your other friends in a position where they have to take sides) and just...be civil when you're together but not give her any more of your time/worrying.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:24 PM
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She's a cunt. She sounds utterly too hung up on herself to give a shit about anyone's issues.

I suggest making your own "blog" of sorts and detailing her various cunty selfish acts in it. I know that's immature as hell but at least some giggles might be had from letting everyone and their mama know what an absolute selfish beast this chick is. Unfortunately marriage preparations turn some women into complete douchebags who are more concerned with their own "specialness" than anyone else's problems/issues (this same exact shit happened to me with a former friend). Seriously, it is best to jettison people who are that insanely self-obsessed and I would move on to finding new friends who aren't fucked up and stupid. Cut her stupid ass off and look for new pals, things can only get better without her crazy ass making psycho blogs about shit she has no business talking about.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:34 PM
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what a fucking bitch. i would not want to be friends with someone like that at all. i understand that 12 years is a long time to be part of a group, etc, but if that's the way she and your other friends are treating you (her being a fucking whore, the other friends letting her do it and not defending you)... then i'd be looking for some new friends my dear. trust me, it's possible, i've done it! and it's better in the long run for you. what a bunch of freaks!
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by lilybett View Post
What a BITCH!!!!!!!! Is she always like this or has she turned into a Bridezilla? I would have given her two slaps loooooong ago.

Your friends probably aren't defending you as you want them to (and, I agree with you, as they should) because they're probably giving her leeway because it's Her Special Day (Her fricking Special Yeeeear, more like it, by the sounds of things) and it's stressful etc etc - it's her party so she can behave like a child if she wants to, you know. Also, as one of your friends said "you know what she's like", it makes me think that they're probably just pleased it isn't them she's gone off on one with, because she sounds a total nightmare to get on the wrong side of.

She sounds like a bit of a 'mare in general, to be honest. If it were me, I'd avoid any more confrontation (so as not to put your other friends in a position where they have to take sides) and just...be civil when you're together but not give her any more of your time/worrying.
Thank you.

I dont want to put anyone in the middle so I have just left it all alone. I am completely capable of being civil if I should wind up in the same room as her, but she is not. I feel as though I will be excluded from everything because of this.
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