I'm slightly confused...

A month ago, on the weekend I was due to move away to university in London, my little brother died after committing suicide. My mother decided that she wanted the body to come back to our house with an open lid, which was very difficult for me to deal with.

I postponed going to uni but a few weeks later I did eventually move. Now I'm here I'm finding it incredibly difficult to make friends, having missed all the freshers activities and so on, and the only person I know here is my ex boyfriend (argh). I'm in halls but I'm sharing with 2 Russians, a Czech girl and a 30 year old guy from Norwich. So, there's a bit of a language/ age barrier to deal with.

It seems that all the little cliques have been formed by the people on my course already and people keep looking at me like I've fallen off the bottom of their shoe because I have a Northern accent. After attending lessons this week its also crossed my mind that the other students don't seem to be of the standard I was expecting them to be, so I'm unsure whether the course in itself is worth the inconvenience of living here and having to cope with all the grief I'm feeling alone.

I think I'd quite like to go home and apply to a closer university next year but my tenancy agreement is quite bemusing and seems to suggest that I have to find a suitable tennant to take over my room at the same university. And of course its a huge waste of money...

I am so sorry to hear about all the horrible shit you seem to have been going through. I think you might be right in that the course and the university are not for you. If I were you, I would talk to a student advisor, they might be able to tell you what the deal is with getting someone to take over your rooms in hall etc and they probably have good advice. Do you have a personal tutor yet? They might be the first person to contact.

i was going to suggest the same thing. basically, all universities have a student advice thingie where you can go if you have problems. beyond your houseing issues, i think you probably need grief counselling too, and they can probably advise you on that.

good luck xx

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said thanks for the insults and compliments
you'll never forget my face no more

I'm so sorry about your brother. I agree with the posts above completely. There should be lots of support already in place at your uni - you just need to go and tell someone in student services what you're going through - for things to be set in motion.

Starting uni can be a lonely for anyone and right now you're bound to feel outside the circle - but you will click with people once you're in the right place. I'm incredibly shy/awkward and some of my closest friends now are the girls I met at uni.

There are positive reasons for studying nearer to home which would probably outway the negative right now. I chose to go to a uni close to my family home and I don't regret it at all. Good luck with everything.

Best wishes xo

That sucks about your brother. Have you spoke to anybody about it? When my sister first started uni she hated it and found it hard to get along with the people she was living with. But she made friends etc It just takes time.