| The Last Straw
Does anyone feel like the world is seriously trying to see whether it can push you over the edge? I have a history of mental illness. I have been doing fine for a while, til about two months ago. Then basically, I had to cancel my research project for my dissertation abroad because they told me first they thought I had lymphatic cancer (thankfully I don't), then they told me there was something wrong with my chest x-rays (still unsolved) so I couldn't go. This was depressing. I also had to find a project months after everyone else and weeks after most people started so was at a disadvantage. Then I went to nurse my cousin, who was having gene therapy for skin cancer and noticed there was something not going right with her treatment. I came home, then was involved in a very minor accident, where basically a police car forced me to crash at about 2mph into another car. The police car sped off, I was left with a £611 bill for a inch long dent (I am a student, this is uncool) which was also a nightmare to sort out insurance company wise and was a whole lot of stress.
My cousin then takes a huge turn for the worse and over 3 weeks dies agonsingly. On the day I find out, my boyfriend (who has been on holiday for 10 days and hasn't contacted me once) doesn't return home when planned (he had changed his itinery and told no one, meaning his parents spend all day on the phone to me (they live miles away) stressed about whether he is alive. I also get a £60 parking ticket when I am crying to hard to drive so run inside somewhere to splash water on my face and calm down. When my boyfriend eventually returns that night, he tells me the reason he couldn't be bothered to contact me is it was tiring and depressing to be around me because I am ill and bad stuff keeps happening to me and he wishes I was abroad for my research project so he didn't have to deal with it (we have been going out for two and a half years during which I have seen him through tons of bad times). I promptly dump the twat.
So situation is already pretty bad, grief + long-term relationship break up. Yesterday was my cousin's funeral, which was terrible beyong belief, just devastating as was talking to my aunt and uncle who are heart broken, literally the most upsetting day of my life. I finally get home late last night, collapse into bed and when I wake up today, guess what? My car has been broken into! I call autoglass to come fix the window, they make me stay in ALLLLL day and the whole evening. Eventually a guy turns up at midnight, looks at the window and goes "Ooops, I brought the wrong window! Sorry, I will have to come back later in the week sometime, I will let you know". Literally I was like "whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhy?"
I seriously don't know how much more I can take! My dissertation is due in in 12 days (its nowhere near done) and I swear I am on the verge of some sort of mental breakdown. My life= crap.
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