Ok, I don't really wanna get into all my personal shit on KR like a hot mess, so I will keep it technical...... but in June of 2004 my doctor placed me on 0.5 Xanax, and I really love this drug, it's worked wonders even too well as I am pretty sure I am addicted to the shit, I have been taking either an entire pill or a half of a pill per day for so long (3 plus years) I feel like my mind is hazy more often than not.

when all this first took place I had to leave work in order to deal with the extended end of the life care and finally the death of a family member.......I was depressed and a MESS so I got all my medications free because I had no job or insurance which was good at the time because the doctor supplied me with free samples from his office, but now I've stopped going to that (regular family doctor) altogether because I feel he is too quick to push the drugs on all his patients. I'm down to my last 60 pills xanax and I just want to go off of them as I've noticed mood swings, my hands shaking, my whole body shaking when I'm scared or nervous or trying to fall asleep thinking of things I have to do the next day and sometimes I cannot fall asleep without taking half a pill before bed so I assume it's safe to say I have an addiction however mild it may or may not be, I don't take anything else at all drug wise other than 10mg of Lexapro per day which I am not having any issues with.....I take no illegal drugs either.

I'm scared shitless of the prospect of not having these little escapees in my life when things get too tough and I NEED that relax.....I'm already having panic attacks thinking of going thru life without my safety net of xanax, I'm a bit embarrassed and attempting to do this all on my own other than that I joined an anonymous support group thru my local hospital and have meetings three times a week starting today. Does anyone have any experience in this at all? If you do and would like to share feel free to PM me if you don't want to discuss it on the board. I'm a mess today but I think I'm doing the right thing, my body shouldn't feel like this and I want some control back over my emotions and my reaction to normal fear and stresses....this morning my hands were shaking so bad I could not drive my car and had to ask a friend to pick me up because I was afraid to drive in that condition around other people, I can't believe I am this frightened already at just the thought of what I'm going to have to feel like something is wrong with me that I cannot cope on my own, I feel damaged and so pathetic needy.

HAHA. That's a quotable quote.

I have some experience with it, and trust me, it is NOT pleasant. If I were you I'd taper off as much as possible to avoid the withdrawl symptoms.

As for after the withdrawls are over, I just don't know. There is another medication for social anxiety that is not habit forming called BuSpar, that I've heard works well as a trade-off. Other than that, you might just have to learn to deal with and alleviate your anxiety without the medications. It takes time, but it IS possible. The mind is a powerful (if sometimes cruel) thing....

I've been addicted to Xanax for about 7 years. Yes, it feels wonderful when it takes effect, but it wears off rather quickly...then you find yourself going mad.
I started out with 0.25mg twice a day. Now I'm up to 20 (yes, twenty) milligrams a day. Many times I've detoxed from it...and just as many times I've gone back to it.
I would suggest you enter a rehab for the detox. It's simply horrid to do it on your own. And dangerous.
I know the lovely feeling that Xanax gives to one.. As though suddenly, the entire world is perfect. But eventually, you run out.
It takes effect within 15-20 minutes, then a few hours later the lovely feeling is gone.
I wish you well. If you can taper off by yourself, wonderful. I envy you.

Maybe you should go back to the med-dealing doctor if you know he's going to give you freebies or a new scrip. It sounds like you really really need to take it in order to function, not just to get high. You're on a low dose, so to me it doesn't seem like you're abusing it or that you'd be seen as simply drug seeking if you did go to a doctor.

I've only been on it for a few months, but I'm out of refills and down to my last 40 pills so have to go back to my doctor and ask for a new prescription soon, because I'm also terrified of what's going to happen when there's none left.

Good luck with either getting off or staying on it xo

Oh dearie me, I remember coming off this and it wasn't very nice. I was taking about 5-7 pills a day and they had to dose me up on anti-psychotics while I got used to not having them...

Good luck! I wish I had useful advice, but I don't

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