Alright, since I've been with my current boyfriend, which has been 4 months (2 of which I've been living with him) I have been having drunken outburst, getting into fights with him, pushing, name calling... and so on. I want to know why I can't control it. I don't want to have to stop drinking. Last year I noticed a chance when I drank when I started crying about my past and my mother who passed on a year earlier and it's only gotten worse. It would be all fine until he starts saying **** to me or something then it's like a trigger goes off and I snap to that drunk person who I don't like to be. I've gone to counseling for 6 months and I think it's a waste of time. They put me on meds which made me feel no emotions and made me tired right away when I would start to drink. I just don't know what to do. I need to control this behavior. I would like to say it's ALL me, but I know it isn't. Maybe obviously I am not in a healthy relationship but I don't want to quit him. I should just stop drinking but that is all he does.....

Oh dear, so confused asking a bunch of randoms for life advice

I made my boyfriend give up drinking. He was such a **** when drunk, he lied stupidly, gambled away a fortune, was really abusive to people, generally did stupid stuff and was occasionally violent towards me. Its been 6 months now and good god its so much better. I don't drink either (thanks to ****ty ****ty health), which probably makes it easier and now he doesn't drink all his money away we can do nice stuff!

alcohol can really release the worst of a person..........and both of you drink?
it might be time to get out and see about controlling your alcohol use........you just might be one of those folks that can't drink alcohol.........try going to an AA meeting or better yet, an Al-Anon meeting..........

maybe call it quits for maybe a month or two then try again and see wether it's any better sometimes people just need a break