I've wanted to make this thread for a while, but I know how negative a lot of stuff on kittyradio is, so please reign in those *****y instincts.

I've been suffering from depression for about a year and a half now. I found out (recently, so it isn't a case of paranoia) that my dad brother and sister have all been/are being seen for depression and anxiety. I'm 23 finished uni last year and got a first, so I have technically little to be depressed about on paper, or so people always tell me. Anyway, I used to get highs and lows, and have always had trouble controlling my emotions, but as I said for the past year or so it has just mainly been low, really low, and without getting people's eyes rolling, suicidal. I've been to the doctor and have been on two anti-depressents, Citalopram and Mirtazapine, neither of which worked for me. I've also been to a psychiatric nurse who feels there is no mental problem, though her advice for getting better was to watch a happy film, so I'm doubting her abilities. I just wondered if anyone else has had trouble getting anyone to take them seriously doctorwise. Especially in the UK. It seems in America, because you don't rely on an overstretched NHS, doctors are more willing to help, or take depression seriously. I only make this thread because I've been lurking in this forum for a while and it seems like a lot of people here have faced similar stuff, and are willing to share their experience. So yeah.

I thought for a while I might be bi-polar or have borderline personality disorder or something, purely because these are the most spoken about problems that I can relate to. It doesn't help I also have eating problems, and really low self esteem. But the people I've been to see about it seem to think I'm just a bit sad, which is frustrating and I feel really isolated. I just wondered if other people have had similar problems, and what they did about.

Thanks.

you said your family have also felt this way and have had problems, do they visit the same dr? especially seing as mental illness runs in families, its suprsing they have not taken you more seriously, for this alone

Hey,
I've felt the same- I saw a psychiatric nurse for counselling who just laughed at me and said [my paranoid behaviour] was silly- gee thanks! I don't really think doctors take me seriously either, I was in tears once and said I was at the end of my tether, the response was basically 'you're referred for counselling, try this medication, there's nothing more we can do.' I have had depression for about 3 years now, only went to a doctor about it a year and a half in. My eating habits left a lot to be desired at one point, so I can identify with you, I also have low self esteem.

Has your doctor said what s/he thinks? Mine asked me questions and said 'It does sound as if you are suffering from depression'- it's comforting to have a label. I also thought I had borderline personality disorder but I've recently started seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist who said I don't have it, but I did fit the criteria for depression.

Sorry to ramble on! Yeah I've heard 'everyone feels a bit down from time to time', I just kept on going to different doctors (at uni and at home when I was home). At the end of the day the NHS resources are limited but be sure to ask what's available to you. Have you told them that you've felt suicidal? I tend to underplay things until they ask 'Have you ever felt like...' and I've said yes.

Your psychiatric nurse sounds as bad as mine! I wish I could give more concrete advice, I haven't found a solution either. Don't give up, though, keep stressing what you said here, to the doctors.

Melissa.

Thanks for replying Bookstore.

I only found out about my sister yesterday, my brother was seen years ago and has since become pretty much a drug addict and an alcoholic, so he doesn't bother with it anymore. My dad lives far away, so we don't have the same doctor. I have told them though, I even told them he tried to kill himself a few years ago, but they just seem so... blah about it all. Considering the length of time I've been feeling this bad, when it was always in spurts before, I just feel hopeless.

That was, in the best possible way, quite comforting to read.
At first I was very unforthcoming with my counsellor because I have trouble opening up to people, but I've been very frank with her about the suicidal thoughts and the self harming and stuff. The CPN you saw sounds exactly like mine. She basically said that I'm probably just having an early midlife crisis from 'not knowing my place in the world' which whilst true, has always been the case but I've never felt like this. I think the stress of my dissertation and getting broken up with over a year ago really just shot my nerves to **** and made me far less able to cope. Also I spent the past year pretty much stoned out of my head most days (I've stopped now) and I do seriously think that whilst I thought it was helping (in the high state it allowed my mind to switch off and stop analysing and criticising and telling me I was useless and not worth ****) it has done something to me. And I realise that is my own fault. Also what I find really annoying is that as soon as you mention drugs they see that as your only problem. It has happened twice now with two different psychiatrists. When drugs are mentioned (and I foolishly try and be as honest as possible because I WANT to get better) they just ignore everything else. And when I try to explain drugs and drinking to excess is an effect of my attempt to solve the problems, they see it as the cause instead.