if you had been abused as a child, but had kept it secret for about 15 years, would you ever do anything about it if it menat your whole world falling aprt if you did?
if everone thinks the person who did it is an ok person, and if you tell they might not belive you, but if they DID belive you your whole life would change forever, prob for the worst?

yes. i just read this book today and you may find it helpful/hopeful.

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-These-W.../dp/0977769100

yes.

yes. if i thought it would protect someone else.

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I have a friend who was abused. I've seen the way the stress of keeping it quiet all these years has destroyed his life and his self esteem. He has a terrible substance abuse problem because it is the only way he can silence the memories.

I would tell. The fallout from holding in in can be just as horrible as whatever may happen by bringing it out into the light.

and the person should pay.

i would definatly say
although i doubt id be able to keep it quiet for so long

I would recommend some therapy and preparation for any possible fallout. But yes I think telling would empower the victim and make them a survivor and possibly prevent others from being abused.

Depends. If you don't think that the person is going to do it again (or won't be in a position to do it again) and you have come to terms with it in your own way, then why drag up all the misery? For some people, it is empowering to tell the world. For other people its not, they'd rather leave the past in the past because they've already moved on.

orchestral abuses me

i kindof agree.
the "if you don't think the person is going to do it again" is a big one though. if that's even a remote possibility, i definitely think you shouldnt keep this a secret

Lady,

Have you talked about it with a therapist?

I think working on resolving any issues you might have from it is the most important thing right now.

As far as telling others ... well ... that's for you to decide. I wasn't ever abused. I don't know what I would do. I'm sorry you were; I know that's lame, but I hate to think about how cruel people can be, and are, everyday.

Who would you tell? Why? Do you have any siblings that shared your experiences - would they be receptive to talking about them?

I just think talking about it at all would help alleviate any feelings of alone-ness you may have - I don't know if you feel this way or not, but I imagine I would. Still, I can only imagine, you know?

Best Wishes.

*Edit: I was kind of assuming you were talking about family, which could be way off-base.

If it IS somebody who works with children and isn't your family, then yes, without a doubt - press charges. If you can deal with it mentally and it won't cause you too much pain ... therapy might be a good idea first so you can? I don't know. But no one should work with kids that's dangerous.

Okay, first off, seriously you all don't know what you're talking about unless its happened to you.
I wasn't sexually abused, but abused; and it wasnt by my parents.

Its much harder to talk about than you think.
I dont ask for your sympathy.
What Im trying to say, is its better to not give advice like this if its never happened to you.
Its fucked.
Its sick.
I hate everyone.

But if you feel comfortable, make sure you tell the right person. Don't allow someone to judge you.
And if you do, Im proud of you. Youll feel a lot better too. I know I did.

I don't know how anyone who is abused could be judged by it

I thought my friend had a creepy dad, he wouldn't let her wear make-up or short skirts or anything in case other boys looked at her which I understand, but he won't let his wife do the same either and he often tells my friend she should lose weight and be more attractive... and he also told my best friend she had nice breasts but I don't know if this is something or nothing?

no

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buy me some shoes any maybe take me for cola?

Lady~

Tell someone. It diesn't matter how much time has passed. It is entirely possible you may not receive support from people who are close to the abuser, as many cannot believe someone they are close to would hurt another. However, you knbow in your heart what happened, and the first step to healing is talking about it. If you'd like to disucss this privately, pm me. I work in crisis cousneling and might be able to help. Much love.

Miranda