| I know this is what everyone sais but... Things do get better.
I was depressed pretty much since I was 8, up until recently. I'm 25 now, so yeah, it's a pretty long time to be down. Meds kinda helped but I hated the idea of needing them to be normal.
It wasn't until I started being an adult and being able to make my own choices about where I wanted to work and where I wanted to live that things started getting better. I realized that this was all stuff no one could change and I had to do it myself. One I did that, I realized how much I had been bringing myself down just by being so negative all the time.
I'm not saying you're negative, cos I don't know you or anything. But I know now that my attitude was one of my major problems. If you can envision a path to following your goals, then achieving those goals is what makes it all worth while. And I don't mean far fetched goals like "I wanna be famous." Start smaller like "I want to live where are more oportunities for me."
All this to say that if you're at a standstill, then get up and get moving. No one's going to hand you 'happy' on a platter.
And as for ending it all; Every time I think that way, I imagine all the shit I might miss if I die now.
Like you; What if your demo turns out to be your big break and you miss it?
Anyways good luck on Sunday  | 
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