Well, I do have a guitar. I'm not sure they'd let me in the union with my singing voice though. Then again, Bob Dylan and Neil Young seem to have done alright for themselves.

NO! Singer-songwriters make more cash and have a union!

Oh well. Looks like a life as an unemployed deadbeat for me. My parents will be distraught. Maybe I'll call myself a poet.

I never received the pickles. This is going on your transcripts.

And on that note, I shall retire to bed. Thanks muchly for the company. It helps to have someone who doesn't mind my incoherent babbling when I can't sleep.

I'm impressed. I don't think anyone has ever gone to this kind of effort to protect a bounty of pickles before. Your dedication to the cause is truly inspiring.

Guns can only protect drugs. We need the master sword for our pickles.

You know, I had to google that and read a NYT article to fully appreciate the reference, but I see your point now. Presumably the beef and pickles would be in America. That being the case, couldn't I just buy a gun to protect them? I mean, guns solve everything, right?

Pfft, tell that to their kids at Tulane University!

Easy. We'll just take them to wherever all the rich white people are. Those places are usually safe from natural disasters, right?