I have been dating this amazing girl for just over a year now (last may). We were friends for a little while before we began dating, but we hit it off immediately and we get along (nearly) perfectly every time we see each other. Now we seldom fight however, recently I have been finding it more difficult to trust that she is being completely honest (about how she feels) with me. I know she gets angry at me and keeps things from me but will not tell me why she is angry. I'm the type of person who talks big, but in a joking manner. Everyone knows this about me, but I guess it bothers my girlfriend when I say something disrespectful in her presence (about anohter woman or something... yknow, the whole talking with your male friends and one says some girl is hot and you agree). However, when she becomes offended, she just shuts up and won't say anything for a few hours. I can see in her eyes that something is wrong, but she will never tell me what I did. She says she's just 'tired' or some other lame-o excuse, but I know I have hurt her. I've been trying really hard to change my ways, but once in awhile someone will tell me after the evening is over that my comment hurt her (this in turn makes me paranoid.) Now this all sounds like a pretty stupid problem, but recently it has been tearing me up. I feel as though every time I ask how she is doing she is lying to me. I tell her to be completely honest with me, but she says she's fine to avoid a conflict. It's hard to fix a problem when the person won't even tell you what you did wrong. Now every time she is slightly quiet I assume I offended her and she is bitter towards me. Anyone else have a girlfriend who doesn't tell you why she's mad? (or does everyone...?)

Perhaps your girlfriend is afraid of coming across as paranoid. When you comment on another girl, perhaps she thinks it would be irrational to make a big deal out of it even though it hurts her emotionally. Maybe she's anticipating you asking her what's wrong, but doesn't really have any intention of telling you as she wants to come across as a strong person. Maybe she fears that you'll get angry at her for expressing her hurt, or she feels that showing any vulnerability will effect your opinion of her. You need to make her see that her emotional wellbeing is important to you, and that it annoys you when she bottles things up. If this is the case, it sounds like ye've grown less compatible as ye've individually changed/matured in personallity. Reflect on how the situation is causing complications in ye're relationship. Can you see those complications resulting in heartache? Talk to your girlfriend, and stress how bad it's making you feel that she feels she can't talk to you. You need to outline everything you've mentioned for her. Maybe she could "accidently" stumble upon this thread?

Everything des said in the beginning half.

I used to do that cos it's not worth making the fuss over. Most of the guys I've dated will do things like you've mentioned that annoy me, bother me or hurt me. I don't want to make a fuss, so I let it be known that it aggravates me without verbalizing it. I don't give the cold shoulder for an entire evening or something, but i let it show. If he cares to notice, he'll change his actions instead of "talking about it." I've found when I'm straight up about it "I don't like it when you flirt with other girls in front of me" he usually just starts making excuses for his behavior or tells me I'm paranoid.

Solution; Don't hang out with your girlfriend and your guy pals at the same time. Or ditch the girl and say whatever you like whenever you like, then you won't come to kittyradio.com to whine about it.

Keep it simple. Talking rarely keeps things simple.

The way she sees it, she's made it clear that it doesn't make her happy when you do this. You continue to do it, so she assumes that you don't care that it hurts her feelings. It's not a "big deal" issue so she can't actually tell you "Hey, don't say that kind of stuff" without seeming jealous and insecure, so the most she can do is make it obvious that it makes her unhappy, in hopes that you'll care enough to alter your behavior. When she found out that you don't, she started questioning how much you actually care about her, because to her it seems like you care more about talking about other girls being hot than preserving her feelings. You're not going to get her to open up to you by begging her to open up and certainly not by getting mad at her. What you need to do is reassure her of how strongly you feel about her. You have to get a bit mushy. Tell her how attractive you find her, how much you love her, compliment all the things you love about her (physical and non-physical), just gush a bit but stay sincere. When she starts feeling more confident about how you feel about her she'll stop feeling the need to protect herself by pushing you away. And you may want to consider laying off the comments about other girls in her presence. It's just plain respectful. She knows you consider other girls attractive, but no one wants to hear about it. hearing your boyfriend talk about how hot someone else is not only makes you feel jealous and insecure about how you measure up, but it's also quite embarassing to have the guy who is supposed to be in love with you gushing over some other girl in front of other people while you're stuck just standing there.

^ I agree with what awful cherry said.

Just really try and not make such comments when she is in your prescence. Im sure your friends would understand because I think most guys act a little differently with their friends than with their girlfriends. Probably some of your male friends wouldn't talk about how attractive other girls are infront of their partners!

If you notice when she goes quiet or seems hurt you should be able to work out what you said or did that may have offended her. Just take note and try to stop yourself from doing those things repeatedly.