How do you say goodbye to the abuse you think you deserve?

This isn't meant to come off as pity thread...I am just confused.

I can't find my way no matter what.

I think one of the biggest things that helps is having understanding folks around you. Do you have WEAVE or the equivalent where you are?

I had an ex who was in a really terrifying abusive relationship like a year before she got with me, and she was still going to her WEAVE meetings on a fairly regular basis. Which seems wise. There are so many pitfalls and snares that an abuser leaves planted in your mind that you don't even think about because you've normalized them, y'know? It takes a lot of deconstruction and diving into your psyche to recognize exactly how deep those particular scars go and the ways that they make you feel about yourself as a person.

I don't want this to feel like a "oh poor me thread." But at this point I feel helpless and stupid.

talking to turning probably won't help.