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Old 07-18-2012, 08:10 AM
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BlackMilk's dating tips for single straight mens



I've been on so many dates with women, that I thought I would make a dating tips thread for straight men, of which there are three on KR. But, like I get lots of interesting things from gay men and women on here, I thought women might get an interesting insight about how a straight, successful straight (very straight) successful straight white male might go about dating. Here are my tips, some of them obivous, others, perhaps, even more obvious:

1 - Be nice. Never be nasty, or sarcastic, or rude, or evil. That applies to your date, of course, but surprisingly, perhaps, maybe even equally, to those other people who you meet on your date. That means, bartenders, waiters or basically anyone you meet. Your date is looking, probably, for someone who is social, able to get on with people in a society, and someone who can get things done. If you treat everyone you meet on your date, even assholes, with respect, kindness and courtesy, you will impress already.

2 - Have a plan, or sorts. Even if it's vague. A general direction, or theme. This is to make sure there is no doubt about what to do next. Hesitation could lead to confusion, which can lead to fear, which can lead to the dark side, etc. Drink, then dinner, then a cool little bar that you know. Or alternatives should it go a certain way.

3 - Stories. This is very important. It's like a job interview, in a way, and I would never walk into a job interview without having some stories of my achievements regarding my career. In a similar way, if you have a date without having anything to say about yourself, and interesting story about something that happened to you, or perhaps a viewpoint in life that you have developed by yourself, then you are an idiot.

4 - For instance, this is a story that I use, but it's also very important for dates. I have a philosophy about men and women. Everyone focuses on the differences, the detail, why we don't get along etc, where the real issue is that there are so many more similarities between men and women than differences. If take a woman and a man to see a film, they will pretty much laugh at the same bits. Feed them a delicious meal, they will more than likely both like it. We all have pretty much the same feelings, both get sad, happy, get depressed. We all die. All have money problems. If you want to understand women, or anyone, understand yourself first. And treat people they way you would want to be treated. More than likely, the person sat across from you is more like you than you realise. THIS is the key to a starting a relationship.

That's all for part one. More dating tips to come. Please feel free to share your dating tips, experiences, or anything you think I might have got wrong.

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Old 07-18-2012, 08:35 AM
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BlackMilk, I have never dated. I just get into relationships and then go out. Which seems bizarre, thinking about it.

Anyway, I'm married and I hope that it works and that I never have to navigate the dating thing, but if I do, are the guidelines above applicable? Men and women, as you say, aren't that different, do although these are straight man tips, presumably they're pretty universal?

I kind of want to go on dates just to see how I do. I'm pretty good at socialising but pretty awful at interviews, so I'm curious about whether or not I'd be a terrible date. Genuinely curious.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:42 AM
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:47 AM
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But how did you get into these relationships?

The tips above are pretty basic I guess, and I am a straight man and they work for me, but I imagine they would work for women as well. I don't see why not.

I guess your husband wouldn't be too keen on you going on dates? With this in mind, I give you number 5

5 - Practice. Like tennis, or anything, dating is all about practice. First of all, it's OK to be nervous, but that shouldn't stop you. Shouldn't stop you from asking. You will get dates if you ask, you won't get dates, or will get a lot less, probably, if you don't. So you go on a date, and it doesn't work out. Did you win your first tennis match? Go on another date, and get it better next time! You will have more reference as to what happened, and what you like and don't like. Again, it's the same with interviews. It's the same with everything. The more you do something the better you get.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:53 AM
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im so glad ive never had to date.
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