no. i "wud" know.
i won't comment, it's too late for my advice. except, see a therapist or sth like that.
but try & learn to spell before you start pooping out kids. it's really unreadable and irratating.
straight men are not worth the space they take up (i'm so sure there's exeptions, i haven't met one yet) & you seem to have found one w/lots of baggage. gud fer yoo.