Early on in wedding planning, Mama Funnel Cake made it clear that she would not be entertaining any ridiculous dress expenses. She firmly believes that the quality of wedding dresses is similarly poor throughout the whole range of prices and that it is simply not worth it to spend more than $100-200 for a dress you wear for one day.

When Sister Funnel Cake was discouraged by how unflattering bridal shop sample gowns were on her petite figure, it was actually Mama Funnel Cake who found her a wedding dress used on discount-dress.com for $75. Sister Funnel Cake went to try the dress on and figured, “Hey, for $75, this gets the job done.” It might not have been her dream dress and she did voice some feelings of dissatisfaction about her decision at the time, but the dress was such a good deal that she couldn’t pass it up.



(Personal Photo)



(Personal Photo)

As I started my own search for dresses, Mama Funnel Cake (who along with my father had generously offered to pay for wedding ceremony/reception) hinted that she’d buy me a moderately priced wedding dress if it was required, but I figured it was just easier to buy what I wanted with my own money instead of worrying about what she would allot me.

Mama Funnel Cake also sent me discount-dress.com links to used wedding dresses from the Columbus and they just… didn’t do it for me. They all looked something along the lines of these:








I really wanted to find the perfect dress and then worry about where to buy it for a good deal. I didn’t want to feel like I was compromising our wedding day by buying any white gown that fit me and I didn’t want dress regret before the wedding like my sister. I wanted The Dress to be something that I simply loved that made me look good.

I set myself a loose goal of $1000 maximum, which for me seemed very generous because it was more money than my family members had ever spent on a wedding dress. I felt a little bashful about how much I was possibly planning to spend on my dress, but I was determined not to limit myself to the clearance section at a department store.

What factors set your dress budget? Did you family think your dress was too expensive?

i know as a general and generally good rule we ban spammers. but i'm petitioning to keep this one. i mean look at this ****ing picture again.

we need this.

I kind of agree...

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Very weird spammer, to boot. I mean, the only thing they link is a site full of dresses that 'didn't do it for them.' Definitely a strange ad campaign. Maybe they expect everyone to say "No, you're being silly, there are a number of beautiful dresses on spammybull****.com!"

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****phobia: The fear that a man will treat you the way that you treat women.

what about mama funnel cake?

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some of my customers want me to suck their *****es. i tell them allah did not create my mouth for that purpose.