| biggest ****ing mess ever.
This is such a long story, I don't even know where to begin. And I'm not sure if this even goes here. But bottom line....
I moved to NYC with this guy I knew in AZ. I didn't know him well, but we had a blast together, so we road tripped out to the east coast, and have been best friends for the past six months. In that time, there has been all sorts of weird things that I can't even get into. He's an alcoholic and has a little violence in his background. I've always wondered how stable he is, mentally.
anyway, he met this girl and after dating for a few weeks, moved in with her. I had nowhere to live (whole other post...), so he offered to let me stay with him. but things started unraveling with him and his girlfriend. a couple of nights, there were really bad fights. one night, things came to a head. he got really agressive, with both of us. he kept barging into my room, telling me i had to get out and leave the apt. that second. we were both freaked out. the next day he got kicked out, but i was told by his girlfriend (her name is on the lease) i could stay. we never became really friendly, but we were civil and I stayed there.
for the past month, he's been living on the streets, floating, and staying in hospitals for a concussion. after he left, his ex and I sat down and talked a few times. she was really freaked out. So I opened my big mouth and started telling her everything about him- things i knew, and things i didn't know for sure, but had su****ions about. we fed each others fears and negativity. i also told a good friend of mine what happened and that i was scared and all this stuff, and when he went to our mutual friends for help and places to stay, everyone turned their backs on him. I feel really bad about that. so he feels betrayed and blames me for EVERYTHING.
a few nights ago, we started talking again. i do feel bad for going around running my mouth, so I've been trying to help him get on his feet. he's been house sitting for a friend of his for about a week, and i went to stay with him. he insisted that i had to leave his ex's house, asap. she did tell me that all the drama was freaking her out and i had to be gone by the 31st, but he insisted i had to move my stuff out and leave that night. so i did. i took all my stuff to his friend's place. after work last night, i took most of it back to my parents house for xmas.
but in moving all my stuff, somehow, my really nice digital camera disappeared. he's a photographer and apparently tried telling his ex it was his and i stole it. he swears he doesn't have it but it has to be in that house. so i started saying that i had to get my stuff, i wanted to get it out of there. but when i went to get it, he didn't pick up his phone and never answered. so i talked to him tonight, asked him if i could get my stuff tomorrow. at first he wanted me to, but when i didn't apologize enough, when i didn't admit to all this stuff i didn't do, he started saying i couldn't get it, blah blah blah. now he's sort of saying if i don't do this and this and this, he won't give it back.
I know what he's doing. he thinks i ruined his life, he wants to ruin mine. he knows i'm just never going to speak to him as soon as i get my ****. which I'm not.
but i don't know what to do. i want to just call the police and have them come and make him give me my stuff, but i do feel guilty about what i did. i feel bad for him, i know how depressed he's been, etc.
god, there's so much. it's a huge ****ing mess.
what to do, what to do??
i know what my gut and rationale is telling me to do, but if i turn my back he has no one. and he hasn't treated me well at all. but i did do him wrong, and he's acting out of hurt and desperation, and he has been a good friend to me. he let me stay with him when i had nothing. i don't think he's a bad guy, but i think he's unstable, and i really don't feel comfortable with him having my stuff.
it's all so stupid, and i am so stupid to have let it get to this place.
blah blah blah. general thoughts, anyone?
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