Right now, it sounds like you are grieving. You have suffered a huge, devastating loss and you are going through the various stages of grief. You should probably roll with it for awhile and NOT fight it.

Any support system you have, such as this one, is what you need right now. I think you are doing everything exactly right, even though it hurts like bloody fkn hell, but at the end of all of this pain will be a better, stronger woman who will probably wonder why she ever allowed this dude to be so shitty to her in the first place.

But right now, just go through the grief, feel the loss, and breathe. You aren't crazy and it won't last forever. I promise.

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Michael Phelps for President - 2012!!!

Sorry

Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better really. But it's kind of better that he doesn't know how much you're hurting, because he can't help you now. I hope you start to feel better soon. Just do what you need to do really, there's no use fighting it.

I'd give you a hug if I could. I hope you get through this safe. Just remember - the pain WILL go away at some point.