so as you all know i finally met my father. at first i was totally stoked. ecstatic beyond all comprehension. and i felt close to him.
well in the span of a week all that has changed and im too the point where i wish i could just rewind to a few weeks ago and never contact him.
you see, he loves me. but its too much for me to handle. he loves me to the point where i feel completely smothered. he wants to spend every waking second with me. i havent had time to myself in two weeks and i am the type of person who gets really fucking mean if i have no space. i should have listened to everyone who told me to set boundaries in the beginning. i didnt and now i really regret it.
he's told me that im not ALLOWED to drink, smoke pot, have boyfriends etc.
and im like EXCUSE ME who the FUCK are you? i just met you. yes you may have helped bring me onto this earth but last time i checked ive been an adult and calling my own shots for the last six years, and i dont need you to be a disciplinary figure. like, im sorry he missed all those years where i needed a disciplinary figure, but those years are gone and it is what it is. he cant just waltz into someones life who is an adult and treat them like theyre 16. i know he wishes he didnt miss those years where i needed someone to protect me but those years are gone and he is just going to have to live with it.
but he does things like, he got me health insurance, he bought me a brand new computer, gives me money all of the time. and while i do appreciate all of this i almost feel like its a means for him to keep a stranglehold on me and my life.
i really like having all this new stuff but not if it comes at the price of not being able to be an adult. im pretty headstrong and not easily controlled. so when someone i barely know just waltzes into my life and tries to change everything i really really get irked.
i do want to develop a relationship with him, i do. but the keyword there is develop.
he tells me he loves me 50 times a day, and im not a very affectionate person as it is, so this shit really really freaks me out. last night he texted me four times within 15 minutes to tell me how glad he is in my life. and while someone who is more sentimental may have felt all warm and fuzzy inside, it pissed me off and i ignored them and didnt respond. i dont even know if i love this man. its going to take a while for me to develop real affections for him.
so my question to you guys is, how do i find a sensitive way to tell him all of this, and to make him back off a little? im pretty straightforward most of the time but i feel this is a rather delicate situation that should be handled accordingly. i mean this man wanted to find me for 22 years. but now that he has he's fucking it up left and right. so what would be a nice sensitive way to say "HEY BACK OFF DUDE, YOURE SMOTHERING ME, IM AN ADULT, I'LL MAKE MY OWN GODDAMN DECISIONS, BUT I STILL WANT YOU IN MY LIFE."?

I don't want to hear about this again unless something dramatic happens. I suggest you stab him to get your point across.

isnt it a bit difficult to get your point across to someone who is bleeding to death?

He's a relatively new father. Maybe he'll get used to it. I only moved in with my dad when I was 15 (even though we'd been in touch my whole life), and he was totally overzealous with the controlling-my-every-action thing.

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did you finally find a rational way to say you couldnt handle that?
its one of those things where i couold completely blow it by saying something the wrong way.
i just dont want to come off as being harsh you know?
when did he finally let up a little?