tell him

"i appreciate the advice but it is like nagging and i am an adult capable of making my own choice. i appreciate you providing support for me but that does not give you the right to say derogatory comments. you can have the items back if you would rather not stop. i also appreciate your comments of affection but these are almost too much and i would like you to show more restraint dad. xx "

I'm with Lost Soul. You need to spell it out and you also need to give him concrete examples of unacceptable behaviour - i mean its way over the line! And tell him that the more he smothers you the less you want to know him and that whilst the gifts are lovely you don't want strings attached.

Let us know how you go. It should start off as a friendds thing not father/daughter.

What does your mum think of all of this?

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"A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill." -- Robert A. Heinlein

No, I just got angsty and stuff. We didn't get on at all. I was living with him though, so a different situation to yours in a lot of ways. Once I moved out and now I'm over 21, he eased up a lot and now he's sort of amused and proud whenever I can do anything for myself.

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so i had a talk with him about treating me like a kid and he apologized and responded very well. i think at this point the best course of action is to deal with a situation when it arises instead of just laying it all on the table at once. i mean he could be just as overwhelmed as i am and just not showing it. but i feel much better now that i fixed one thing that was really bothering me. i hope he keeps being so understanding.

He seems to be a pretty understanding guy. I'm sure if you continue communicating your feelings with each other, things will get much easier.

Most parents seem to see their sons/daughters as kids their whole lives. It's just parental instinct I guess. These feelings are probably more intense and overwhelming for him, because you've been out of each other's lives for so long. He has a lot of lost time to make up for. Chances are he's so happy to have you around again, he's getting a little over enthusiastic.

I've been in touch with my dad my whole life, but we rarely see each other, maybe once a year or something. Even so, he still gets all paternal and over-protective at times. Over the last few years, he seems to have come to terms with the fact that I'm an adult and he's easing off now.

It doesn't get me mad or annoyed. I thank my lucky stars I have my dad in my life.

Give hime time and try and be as patient as you can.