Yeah...I haven’t had a nice relationship in about two years...Apparently I only meet the idiotboys or I am the idiot one. So I’ve put up a profile on a Dutch dating site...(one of those sites with a question list with 200 questions and they make a one-in-a-million-match for you...all automatically, I’m so lucky!). I took a 6 months subscription...I’m giving up after that and remain a single person for the rest of my life (so I believe...my friends all believe that I will meet the right person and so...but they keep saying that for three years now, so what do they know? they’ve got already the perfect match...well they believe so, but that's the only thing that really matters, isn't it?).

I always made fun of the people with a dating profile...so I feel kinda stupid right now...its just the homoscene in my neighbourhood is so dirty and I always end up drunk, making out with the person I told myself an half hour before I wouldn’t make out with him even if he could turn me into a younger Angelina Jolie with a blink of his eye.

Now I’m actually checking my mail (even on my phone) for every hour, checking out who is watching my profile, who is sending messages and stuff. I became the person I ridiculed for so long (and so bitter).

And I know that all dates will be awful. Cause they are all so forced...and I know that those people are just as sad as me with their silly dating profiles. Why can I just not take it serious?

So plz cheer me up...have you ever been there? Would you go there? How did you handle it?

Alex?

Well, since you're calling my name...and all...

I joined okcupid.com - ITS FREE!

And I've met lots of girls from there. They're all crazy in their own unique way - and I loved screwing all of them - except one who did not drop her panties for me.

Lets take it slow - lets be friends - lets not talk for months at a time ...

*manic laughter*

You're called Alex? Things can get confusing around these parts...

Well, never mind. I stalked you a little and figured out who you are. The BIT postcard you sent me is still on my bulletin board!

sometimes i convince myself i could meet someone from a dating site. so i sign up and make a profile and send messages to ones i think might be good. and then always within a week or two i panic and take the whole thing down.

what i'm really afraid of is just the idea of meeting someone on the premise that you might become sexually or romantically involved. i've just never done it that way. i meet someone on some other premise and then we decide its time to fuck or like each other or whatever. it really confuses my senses to meet up with someone with that idea already in place and i just don't think i can do it.