i'll occasionally hear about people crying during or after sex, and have never understood it.

never in the context of being raped or really rough fisting or whatever. that i can understand.

i'm talking about people who get so emotional about fucking that they cry. even though i don't understand it, i've been a little envious.

i've been hanging out with this awesome straight guy lately, and his friends.
i think he's hot, but i'm way past hitting on straight men and it's just not something that interests me. earlier it was just me and him hanging out and we were talking about music.

he told me sarah mclachlan is his dream girl (!) he thinks she's really hot.
that sounds a little queer, but he's a non-homophobe who's been in the army and doesn't seem to care what people think.

we just started kissing. it wasn't weird at all, but quite matter of fact and truth be told i was kind of slacking off.
i unzipped his pants and started sucking his cock, and that was matter of fact too. (matter of fact is my new favorite mode.)
he said "that feels good", but not in the faux-ecstatic tone people take on during sex acts. imagine somebody saying "the bread sticks are good"...that was the tone he used.

anyway, we sort of took turns blowing each other, kissing and changing the cd.

i started sucking him again, and then asked if i could lick his ass. he said yeah.
that's when i started crying and i'm not sure why. and no, it had nothing to do with the ass licking.

he's such a beautiful person and i feel close to him.

i still don't think he's gay, because he wouldn't care if i told everybody we know that we sucked each other cocks. we did both cum eventually (and yeah i licked his ass after i finished crying) and it still wasn't weird afterwards.

he really just takes life as it comes and doesn't say much but means every word he says.

finally another turn of the wheel. basically i just learn as much as i can and prepare, but a new guy always has to come along and validate it all and then i'm officially a little different than i was before. and this just keeps repeating every couple of years.

i love how sarah mclachlan songs never go over the top.
she's a little theatrical at times, but it's monsoonish, hurricanes lightening, rainstorms & not smoke and mirrors.

blah blah blah.

but its the 'changing the cd' part that reminds me of why i've always related to you in some way/shape/form.

Well, my balls are empty for the week now

blah blah blah is my m.o.

but some of us do love you for it, cleeto. ya know. we roll our eyes in lub.