I'm going up to his place (well, his dad's place) tonight. By train. GO train. That's sorta romantic isn't it? This is meant to be a booty call but I'm glad I have him to my self cus I luuuurve talking with him and he's quite intelligent and ALMOST down-to-earth when I'm alone with him and he's not on the prowl for tail. I'll write more on this tomorrow when I get back (Yes I'm sleeping over, which is nice cus I like cuddling.)

It would be really cool if I just got over him tonight and then acted all cool in the morning so he thought that it would never happen again.

I'm not as giddy about going to see him as I thought I would be. This is a good sign. I'm excited though because he's quite a good lay. But I'm not like crushing on him right at this moment, so I think I'm moving on.

so are you going to make a new thread every time you're about to see the ex?

yr obv not getting over him if yr going 2 see him just now

I'm slowly getting over him, and haha no I won't be making another thread next time I see him.

I am hoping that tomorrow I will be able to say "Turrah! I'm over it."

i've been doing it for longer than i want to admit. as long as i see him, i can't move on.

i'm not sure, but it isn't healthy, me seeing him. talking on the phone is differant.

or i'm looking for someone at least as good who makes me feel like that.

oh god. I'm back from seeing him. My view of him increased, my view of myself went down.

I was such a bitch to him and then he finally called me on it and I really hurt his feelings cus I joke about what an asshole he is and how badly he screwed things up with his family and shit. I feel like the biggest bitch in the world now. We left on such bad terms. He like rushed me to the bus depot and gave me the most pathetic hug and I was like "I don't want to part on bad terms" and he said "It's a little too late for that."

I'm gonna write him a reallllyyy long letter and mail it to him. I feel so so bad. But I'm really grateful that he called me out on being a) a hypocrite who passes judgement on everyone else and none on herself b) a snob and c) really bitchy with my 'jokes'. I feel like everyone else thinks this and no one's said it to me. It was incredibly humbling. He's completely right. I used to always make him seem like the villain, and it's true he's done some awful things, but this weekend was really good and I fucked it up. So now I am the villain. GAH, I hope he forgives me. Also, he could've been so horrible to me but he was just really calm and he controlled his temper and he just said like three things to me and then didn't talk to me for the remaining like 20 minutes we were together before my bus came. He acted much more maturely than I did and I really see now that he did change during the 9 months we weren't seeing each other. I'm so fucking stupid. What a bitch.

I do realize that I'm a horrible little shit, so please don't swamp me with neg reps.