my relationship with my boyfriend is deteriorating since he moved in.
before this, every time i saw him was a treat and i'd feel more optimistic afterward.
since he moved in, we fight and i'm really really fucking exhausted and sad.
at first it was 95% good. i just missed my privacy sometimes. i was nervous and slightly resentful that i had to walk around without makeup and in my ugly jammies and such. then it was 85% good. i drank more, etc. to deal with the lack of privacy and space to think. then i started breaking stuff (including his guitars) when i drank, not being able to handle his bitchy comments. now he does something stupid every day.

i missed a package in the mail yesterday and he went to get it this morning. i didnt ask him to. i know its because he thinks it might be poppy pods. (i drink poppy pod tea to get high, so does he)
so I KNOW thats why hes getting it this morning, even though it could be something else i ordered. so he goes and they turn him down because hes not me, and when he gets back he gets angry because im not ready to go right then. because im straightening my hair and putting on makeup. "all you do is look in the mirror, literally!"
WELL LETS SEE. If i didnt do this, id have curly hair and wouldnt be as attractive so i fucking do it AND ITS THE MORNING TIME this is WHAT I DO IN THE MORNING TIME. I MISS NOT BEING WATCHED WHILE I DO IT.
He was not obligated to go there, i didnt ask him to. he then drives us there (we work int he same huge office building) before work without asking me if i wanted to, risking us being late. when i point out the fact its my fucking car and i didnt ask him to go to the post office in the first place, hes gets angry and tries to make me feel guilty for "taking me to get my package". "I have to do everything for you". He points out EVERY time i forget cigarettes or a lighter or leave something in my apartment or lose it. the apartments a godamn mess and im too tired to clean it.

He also wrecked my car. he was upset about a friend being shot and there was a spider in the car, and i was with him. the real issue is that before all of this and even after it happened whenever i said MY car he would get upset. "you use a lot of pronouns. most people in relationships share stuff if one of them doesnt have it". He even took my car without asking once, and i thought he stole it. HE DID STEAL IT. HE TOOK IT WHEN I TOLD HIM NOT TO. but APPARENTLY. it isnt STEALING. if he took it to go buy me beer and a card. RLY. some random white trash girl from my apt building saw me gaping after my car and she said "did he steal your car??? do you want me to chase him down???" and thus began my hour and a half long adventure with psychotic girl i just met.

I. cant. fucking. do. this. anymore. I need alone time. I need to be responsible for whats mine, but i really dont want to break up. because hes the only tolerable human i know ... im just not mature enough to handle living with someone yet or something.
i dont know how to tell him?

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you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

replyreplreply helpmehelpme

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you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

I think you are feeling suffocated already by him and the situation. It is obvious you are not in a place right now to live together (because he did not steal your car - this is just a response to the suffocation) and you need your privacy back. Quick.

So, ask him to move out before it ruins what could be a marriage of a lifetime.

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Ezekiel 33:33 Rev 13:16 Lev 11:7
Forums
Last FM
ن٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱ

my car is MY car
and i call my car MY car

tell him you want your car back
and he can borrow it sometimes?
aka
tell him you want to stay together
you just don't think living together is where it's at right now


being together doesn't mean living together
& you're young enough to still be selfish

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[ o ]==#

thank you cala
of course once i find someone im actually friends with and i love in what feels like an exceptional way theyre still going to end up treating me like less than i should be treated
ie
using my property as their own/not wanting to admit MY car is MINE and respect that
i'll die alone i'm guessing
isnt life fantastic
im getting that panicky way
i feel like i need to scream and im going to fucking die and the only person who can help is the person killing me
welcome to my life

__________________

you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

this sortof thing happened to me about 5 years ago, I was on the recieving end of the bad news, and we ended up moving out, after fighting a lot and lots of crying. but!
we are still together, and moved in to our own place again last year.

it will be difficult telling him you want space. it's OKAY though. its not the end of the world, OR your relationship. Its okay to admit to him that you aren't quite ready for this sort of thing yet.

it will be the hardest thing ever to tell him you want him to move out, but if you have good reasons, and are honest and logical about the whole thing, it will be okay.

Well, I don't know if I could handle living with a boyfriend, really. So I suppose I understand, I'd freak out in the same way.

You started going out pretty recently, right? I mean, I don't mean to pry and I'm sure there are probably reasons for it. But maybe its just that you aren't really comfortable enough with each other to be relaxed around each other yet. I mean even if you're totally in love and know each other all the way through, maybe you've just not had the actual time to grow comfortable with each other.

I know its not really helpful in the actual situation, but I just mean its understandable to feel like that and you're not being weird. Like its understandable if hes watching you do your hair and commentating to be pissed off. And all the rest.

Fuck, I call my car MY car and it doesn't even belong to me, I just like saying it. :funone:

I think you just need to say to him "look, we've not been going out long, its not that I don't want to be with you I need space".

So yeah what calalove said. Its not like you're married, and it doesn't mean you don't love each other less (if you've gone there already), its just a part of getting to know each other almost. Whims and stuff, thats part of being together.

thank you fragile person and cat.

btw i'm emailing him the posts in the thread as they come. if he isnt reading his email i'll scream
j/k!! 11 11o 1 OP2E3OFJD (NOT INSANE)

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you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

I suddenly feel self concious...

Hi Steph-nee's boyfriend! Shes cool, and you're probably cool, but y'all need to make space for each other.

I don't even like it when people are like "but if we were really good together this wouldn't be a problem". I think needing time to get yourself together shows you're not taking each other for granted yet.

Kittyradio is the ultimate voice of reason, and giver of answers to all.

*copy paste send*

Exactly! i doubt i can make him believe.
what i need is a KR boyfriend. of course!
hai there mikerochip~*~*

__________________

you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

ew. ewewewewew.
he did that boyfriend thing and told me not to "run" to other people. to resolve with him. haahhaah!
WHY ARE MEN SO STUPID?
that would obviously be UNHEALTHY for me.
ohyes, lets keep our sick problems to ourselves, we can like create a b3lljar of emotional abuse with no outside perspective.

gay men are obviously much more advanced than straight men, otherwise they would kill each other after a couple of months

__________________

you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

its one thing to ask peoples opinion, get some perspective and talk to your bf about it.
it's entirely something else to send him posts from a thread on a messageboard where a bunch of randoms express their opinions about your relationship, without warning. This is possibly coming from out of nowhere to him, and to be honest i would be totally pissed if my bf copy & pasted posts from a thread like this basically telling me that he wants me to move out.

things like this need to be handled with tact and maturity, or else you could lose him altogether.. i kindof agree with your boyfriend. he should not have to find out about this sort of thing via some randoms posts in a thread. you know, in my opinion.

mmmm. i'm seriously inept.
feel helpless, though.

__________________

you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

He sounds like a mooch, just saying. I agree with cala.

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If you are Canadian, there is a 30% chance you are already in Broken Social Scene

i know, and i understand. sorta. since i was on the other side, i can imagine how he feels too.
you need to email him an apology, go home and talk it through when you get home

i want to listen to fragile person
but i want to listen to cala and venus MORE
because deep down in a sick place in my stomach that makes me feel like im going down a roller coaster
i know everyone i get with ends up using me.
thats what they do.

__________________

you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

in the end, you have to do what is right for you. and only you can know what that is!