I'd tell him that he lowest scoring area was his ability in bed, then say "but we can work on it i suppose", dont put up with shit like that

sunday_green (hello!), that is exactly what I mean by unacceptable. I would be embarrassed, to be quite honest. I mean, to see my friends seeing my boyfriend disrespecting me. sldfjkasdjfl;askdjfal;kjfdlj!!!!!!

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"We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation," she told the crowd.

pabs getting all worked up. what a man-eater

i know!!!!! why i ever went out with him is a mystery, frankly.

and anytime i tried to point out that he was being disrespectful to me, or just being a ballbag (cause frankly, no one wants to hear anyone say things like that), he would go 'OOOH FEMINAZI!!!!111', and anytime i would be emotionally upset about it in private, he would be all 'WOULD YOU RATHER I LIED? YOURE BEING AN EMOTIONAL GIRL STOPPIT STOPPIT'. however, i win, because i broke his heart and ruined his life.

this reminds me of a friendship...relationship would be too much...i had with this guy and i dont think he got it. he never got why i felt disrespected. perhaps i am a maneater, i hate showing weakness. i hate being petty. i hate feeling insecure. in my regular non relationship life im the strongest most independent person i know. but whenever a man comes into the picture that tends to break down. but then its maybe as a friend said, something very straightforward...you just havent found someone who wont make you feel like that.

who is dead fag?

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"We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation," she told the crowd.

LOL

I THOUGHT there was something wrong with that when I read it over!
Clearly I can't spell when I'm in a rage.

Thx for your postz, I think you're right he's just daft/ can g2f.

rosaline is all kinds of LOL. in a good way.

Sometimes the best way to make people understand how this kind of thing feels is to do the exact same thing to them for a while.

Whenever a good-looking guy passes, sigh and fan yourself. Or say something like "don't think I would have said no to that one..." or "see now that's what a REAL MAN SHOULD LOOK LIKE".

He's obviously either a) thick as shit, or b) trying to annoy you. If b), he's either a) angling after some angry sex, b) trying to get you to dump him because he can't be bothered himself, or c) just doesn't like you much.

Yes, girls are really insecure about their appearences, and yes they ask leading questions about who's prettier than who as an excuse to throw a spazz and so on. But guys should at least be semi-aware of this by now. If he thinks what he's doing is a good idea he's either stupid or a jerk.

That so won't work. Guys are different from women. Women get insecure about their appearence and think they're fat and ugly. Guys know they're fat and ugly, and accept it as a side effect of their sitting around all day playing Football Manager. We've just not had the generations of conditioning required to invest our entire sense of self-worth in how hot other people look.

Oh god. hahahahahhahaha.

Agreed.

And would you have? Not that it's a binary choice between him lying and him broadcasting his every sexual thought about every woman he meets, but let's pretend it was.

I have to say, there's something totally adorable about "I'd touch her cunt". The fact that he'd just touch it.

Considering how often this topic comes up, I am curious: does anyone actually try doing exactly the same back? Because to be honest, I don't know how else you establish if it's acceptable.

If he leches over other girls but isn't okay with you doing the same, then that's stupid and no-one could think it was okay.

If he doesn't see anything wrong with you doing it (because he does it too), then that's a whole 'nother issue.

So I dunno, can anyone report back on that?

It would definitely work. This isn't about being "insecure", it's about being jealous. And the only way to deal with people who fuck with your head by deliberately making you jealous is to do the exact same thing to them. They can't complain either, because after all, you're not doing anything they wouldn't do.

That being said, I don't think the guy described in this thread sounds like he's worth the calories it would take to get back at him, so I'd recommend just dumping him by text msg or something equally nice.

Yeah, my point was that, if he's not fucking with your head or trying to deliberately make you jealous, it's probably not going to bother him much. I mean, I don't think I'd care if someone did what you described to me; if I'd been talking about how people looked, it'd be because I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, so you doing the same thing back wouldn't "work" (as in it wouldn't piss me off and make me think I'd been a baaad boy).

And jealousy is an insecurity. What else could you call it?

Let's be honest: a relationship is as much about getting to know each other as it is about knowing everything about each other and doing the nasty. In getting to know each other, you're going to step on each others toes now and then, because you're finding out what is and isn't acceptable in that relationship. The alternative is to be on eggshells with each other, not really relaxing into being yourself in case the other half is offended. That's great if you can sustain it for the duration of the relationship, but it also explains why so many of us end up with someone who then at some point seems to completely change overnight. In truth they didn't change, they just stopped being polite and relaxed.

That's my feeling, anyway. It's natural that, at some point in your relationship, you will get on each other's nerves a bit, because you're starting to relax and really be yourselves again, rather than trying to be better to impress each other (crap wording, but you know what I mean). I might be desperate and submissive, but I don't think the answer to this is to dump someone as soon as they piss you off. I'm sure there are other ways to let them know that you dislike what's going on, rather than wasting your energy on a load of passive-aggressive bullshit and expecting him to figure it out. He's a man for god's sake, we're thick as pigshit. If you tell him that what he's doing sucks and that he should stop, you'll know whether the relationship has a future. If you try and be at all clever about it, all you'll do is upset yourself when it doesn't work and seem more like a psycho when you eventually fly off the handle at him.

Basically, this "lose the zero and get with a hero" crap is all well and good if you know that you're totally perfect and that an equally perfect partner will just show up some time. In reality, the fact that something about someone annoys you doesn't make them "the zero", anymore than you're likely to meet "a hero" who doesn't annoy you at all.

My two cents, there.

I would split up your posts and reply to each section ut I can't be arsed right now.

I totally agree with you that it's wrong to dump someone just because they annoy you now and then. My boyfriend annoys me every day in little ways, and sometimes he's annoyed me in big ways, and I've annoyed him, but at the end of the day we love each other and there hasnt been anything we havent been able to sort out. So if that's a sign of being submissive and desperate that'll make 3 of us.

Then again, my bf doesnt give me running commentary on other womens tits as we walk down the street. Huge plus.

The thing that bothered me about the person described in this thread was that it seems like his doing it just for the sake of being an arsehole. I wouldnt have put up with that.

It's a lot easier to meet a "hero" if you're not already spoken for by a "zero".

I do wonder, what with so many people asking the same stuff here, like there's a universal line that your man has either crossed or not. Every relationship is different, and really, only you know whether something is unacceptable or not.

I just wonder if people are being encouraged to expect something unrealistically wonderful from a boyfriend by Hollywood and co., and to feel disproportionately hurt when the one they've got doesn't quite live up to their expectation. It sounds crap to blame Hollywood, but it's trained people to feel inadequate for years if they don't have exactly the right figure, job and life, so why not the boyfriend too?

Maybs. There's a limit, of course, but personally, I'd feel a bit shit if I wasn't able to mention these things at all. I wondered, when you suggested returning the same behaviour, whether the point is to piss him off, or just see how he reacts. This was my point, I don't think men generally feel so in competition with other guys as girls do, re looks and such. If you point out to a boyfriend, "wow, check out that guy's biceps, they're bigger than your head!", I don't know that he'd feel like you were going to run off and rub yourself against his armpit, or that you were suggesting that he was hideous purely because someone else wasn't.

That's the only reason I do anything. I don't know, I'm not saying he's not an asshole, just that there's other explanations. Blokes do often feel a bit trapped in relationships after a few months of holding their farts in to impress the girl, and start to "push back" a little by doing and saying things that they would when they're around their mates. It's pretty normal, and that doesn't mean that someone has to "put up".

I just think it's a bad idea to assume that someone's doing something to piss you off, because most people in the world aren't. I always found that people who didn't care or didn't know what I felt were more likely to piss me off than anyone who was actually trying to annoy me, because in the latter case, you usually know why they're doing it.

You think? I've always found partnered folk far more attractive than singles, even if they are dating complete loser jerks. Then again, I'm usually more attracted to the loser jerks