Please don't go near the S.C.U.M manifesto. I think you might have ***** envy.

Its not ideal but it beats calling a drunkard at 4am, or getting angrier and angrier, not sleeping all night and then unleashing the wrath at 10am the following day.

Anyway, boyfriend when sobered up appreciated what he'd done was massively rude and apologised extensively, then cleared his schedule to spend two days solid with me. All is well.

Well, what can I say except, "Well done him"; at least for the time being *is cautious*. Soz, but then of course you know teh bf & his behavioural propensities far better than I & anyone else here, can nor ever remotely could.

So he's not without sensibilities re. the impact(s) of his behaviours upon the feelings and lives of others; and well done you as well -- for making it clear to him that this sort of inconsideration simply will not do. At all.

Caveat: Drunked up situational "amnesia" imo = only acceptable in extremely limited quantity, time frame/frequencies, and, not least nor last, the underlying basis for said reasons/excuse for same.

If it's a one-off, well. Which of us has not been in an *"ooops; Oh ****! ; Omg..! I have so seriously ****ed up!" * - type sitch in the past (or, uhm,future, it must be said :/ ) ? heh.

Lord knows I have. *guilt, remorse, panic, & general frokeness, etc etc * .

Difference is whether it's an ongoing pattern that seems to pretty much consistently reflect the standard attitude of the perpetrator, yeah? Just sayin'.

And it's not limited whatsoever to S.O. , bf/gf relationships o'course. Most of us have had, at one time or another, family or friends who have behaved thus in the past, right? Including all too many situations in which members of same tried to ladle off the entire measure of the "blame" upon others, including us, who've failed to live up to their highly elevated expectations: demanding that we will fulfill all of same automatically.

Good manners look great on anyone. But there's a lot of "ugly" out there.

Imo.

~Sigh~

Gratutious Example: am entangled in year-long & heretofore one-sided, total antagonism bc of blame-game, concerning a lifetime- friend-estrangement thang; soley bc of other person's espousing the Exalted Expectations +"You are Meant To Be Psychicaly Inspired! re. my immediate demands + frequently unspoken ever-escalating, btw, "needs". No matter ****ing what And since you fail that to my capricious standards? You = worthless *****!"

IDK if anyone else has had a comparable pattern w/anyone that you've truly loved for most of your, and their, life. But this guy has a habit of showing back up whenever it suits him, even if it's five years later, and expecting open arms. I am now (finally, about ****ing time) of the opinion that he knows he can break my heart. So he does.
Which of course means that I've been a foolish, co-dependent whatthe****ever for a long long time. He's been ill for an extremely long time, and frigteningly so. So I've made excuses for him to myself which would be permitted to no one else.

Chyia, Yet again a " worthless *****". Or will be until ..well, you know the name of that tune....Btw: Again = cause this is about the 11th time he's done the "shun and punish manouvre" .Which also makes me feel like a total doormat; and I do not do that for anyone but him. Wtf. *slaps own face viciously*

Apologies for the goddamn rant, people. That just fell outta my fingers/keyboard & astounded me.


P.S. Absolute agreement w/ Ophiel and others who have stated that such dickhead behaviours & attitudes are not at all restricted to one gender. (See my other post above on 26 June, or sthg, stating same. )

I really disagree, I don't think men are less capable of empathy. And besides, I don't think that a man who's a little selfish or inconsiderate at times is not empathetic. That seems a little harsh.

I totally understand why you were ****ed with him for not coming over for no good reason, but I don't think it's because he lacks empathy. He was just being a dick. Who knows, maybe it was the other guy's fault.

But if he keeps ****ing you off like this and you can never get him to see why it's annoying, then let him go, I suppose. Life's too short to be in a bad mood because of him all the time.

I dunno, would anyone else say that sometimes guys are perfectly capable of empathy but just make the judgement that a person doesn't deserve it? I mean, just because you're capable of empathy, doesn't mean that the person you're being asked to empathise with isn't being a complete bellend, right? There's no reason I can think of to think the two would be related.