Ha, i've been going out with the guy for 5 years and i only just find out.

We moved into our own apartment a month ago and he's been kind of moody lately. I thought it was because it was a huge adjustment for him - he always lived with his family whereas i lived away at uni so i was used to my own space.

Anyway, a couple of days ago, he woke up and showered immediatly (we usually eat breakfast together so i knew something was off.) I got up and i was sat on the couch looking all sleepy, wearing just a t-shirt and underwear and he sits down, fully dressed and dignified and says
' we need to talk about your weight'

Now to set the record straight, i am not a heffer. I'm perfectly average. A few years ago i was diagnosed with pcos and i put on a lot of weight due to the pill they gave me. However, i went off it and lost the weight though i never returned to the 'tone' i had before (though it's nothing a few sessions of yoga wouldnt sort out)

He said ' your weight bothers me. You wobble and i dont like it. I want you to lose weight as it's making me moody with you and it's pushing me away. I'd like you to be a size 10 (uk) by christmas.'

WTF?! I am perfectly happy the way i am. I'm 5''7 and a size 14, and my weight is totally fine. I have never been, nor will i ever be, a size 10. I have my mum's body and she's always averaged out at a 14. I eat healthily and i go swimming twice a week and do yoga, occasionally. I can run for the bus without fainting and i can climb the six flights of stairs to our apartment without breaking a sweat, so i'm obviously not suffocating in fat.

I feel like he's trapped me. I cant leave, as i have literally nowhere else to go. Theres no room at my parents house and all my friends are at university down south (i graduated a year ahead of them). It's like he waited until we lived together so that i had no choice but to say 'if i dont lose weight you'll leave and i cant pay the rent on my own. I cant leave as i have nowhere to go, so i obviously have to do what you want.'

I told him he was a massive wanker and that his massive balding forehead was a problem for me, as were all the orgasms i've been faking (which is a lie, but hey... it's all i have)

Let the asshole leave. What he is doing is emotional abuse. See if your parents can help you with a portion of the rent until you can find a roomate?

That's the weirdest thing ever, tell yr parents what he said exactly & I'm sue they'll help out.

Well said!

I'm not sure about the faking though. It's pretty pointless imo. Anyway.
You'll find a way to leave until Christmas, no? After all, it gives you about 6 months to look for a solution.

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that is so mean. tell him to fuck off.

wow what an asshole

what this sounds like is the classic 'i'll push you so you break up with me cause i don't have the balls to break up with you' routine

just don't give him any emotion

and possibly listen to no scrubs or something

HOW DARE HE?! god, that makes me so mad

good on you for not folding - big thumbs up - you are clearly ten miles too good for him

This.
And then dump him, I am 100% sure you will do so much better without him.

That is just flat bizarre. You've been with this guy for this long, and only just NOW he's deciding what weight/size you ought to be?

Something is rotten in Denmark, honey. This smells to high heaven. IDK what sizes 14 nor 10 are comparable to as in UK vs US equivalents, but c'mon. If you've always pretty much been the size you are, and you're fine with it, and aren't out of shape (believe me, I am a U.S. size 6 or 8, depending -- and I couldn't climb the stairs you describe without stopping to gasp, even if I didn't have a wonky leg, so go you! ) then what is his All Of A Damn Sudden problem??

Whatta jerk.

Much sympathy,

Chyia, shaking fist at men in general today

What a complete and utter twat. I would have whacked him one in the balls. Gawd, what a complete twat. What a shit situation that you are stuck there :-(.

does he work out regularily? I mean I can kinda see where he's coming from, I'd be pissed off if someone I was dating was slowly entering that realm of "i dont have to clean myself or work out anymore" and there's no polite way to say it.

giving you a deadline though is knobworthy, dumpsville i thinks for him.

I totally agree with this, it sounds like he's a coward, and a bully too. You are so much better off without him, and I'm positive you can do better than him.
Of course it's hard to throw away a 5 year relationship, but everyone should have someone who loves them for who they are.

well but for me the problem would be that i wouldn't want to stay with him after he said anything like that to me.

juniper, i agree, your bf IS an asshole, don't let him get you down.
try and get out as soon as possbile (maybe ask your parents for help like someone suggested?)

and i totally agree with what lady lithograph said, btw.

kudos to you for telling him off right back. If my bf said something like that to me I'd probably just lock myself in the bathroom and cry for 3 hours.

I doubt that he loves you, tbh. Sorry if that sounds harsh. But if he was less of a selfish arsehole he might have recognised the fact that you have a hormonal disorder, and that youve already lost quite a bit of weight. I'm pretty sure having pcos is worse for you than it is for him. If a bit of "wobble" makes him seriously consider breaking up with you, then what's your future with this guy? It's not as if you could ever have kids or grow old with him if he's that squeamish.

Just do whatever you want. Don't lose weight if you don't want to, don't starve yourself to fit into a size 10. Ignore him and live your life the way you want, I'm sure you look great anyways. 14 isn't exactly obese, as youve already said.

what an actual cunt. leave him, and before you go smear cheesecake all over his side of his bed with a note saying WHO'S A FAT BITCH NOW??

What he said is really the most ridiculous thing ever, I feel bad that you have to deal with such an asshole

Don't loose the weight for him, you sound happy and healthy at the weight you're at.

As if he would bring this up after five years too? You were heavier, you lost the weight you wanted until you were back at your happy size, and now he's not happy with it?

Sorry I have no real advice for you, I probably would have just told the idiot to bite my fucking ass.

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Hahaha, yes!

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Yeah, I don't think that'll do it.

Leave, take everything he has, burn it in a giant pyre outside, leave a vaguely threatening but non-specific note inside, max out all his credit cards, etc.

You know. for lolz.

Obviously you know him quite well, so you know how to wound him if you want to.

So, whats next?
What kind of a person are you??

just say he has a small dick and you look forward to boyfriend of more normal proportions.

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Would you like a cigarette? They're quite exellent.

Wow, he sucks.

Whats his weight like?

My guy once commented that I speak too much when I'm drunk, and I barely spoke for the rest of the night. I don't know what I'd do if he commented on my fat ass

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