OK guys, this is the weirdest situation I have ever been in.

So, I posted an ad online to get to know some guys in the area. Im bi and I am looking to get to know some other guys who are. Not sex, just talking.

Anyway, I get a response from my sisters ex-boyfriend! I always knew he was gay and many of my sisters friends and other people claim he is as well. He basically said he’s been with a few guys and definitely liked it. Of course, I was using an alias name.

The thing is, he claims he wants to “marry” my sister and he’s in love with her. He sent her flowers and little gifts when he was overseas, and he’s back for good in the US now. He told me he fooled around with 2 guys while in the military and also before he left, which is when he and my sister were dating. SO basically he cheated on her.
While they were dating he was very unaffectionate and cold. He lived about 15 minutes away but they never hung out. He was always “cleaning his room” or “out of gas money.” No, I think he was fucking the guy around the corner from his house, like he told me he did before he left.

I only emailed him back to get the scoop because I want to know if he cheated on my sister (which I think he did). My sister is very fragile and emotional and I don’t want her getting hurt by this prick. I think he only wants her as a cover up.

I talked to a friend about this and he said not to say anything because I should let them figure their shit out. And it would also put me in a weird spot as well.

But I don’t want her getting hurt. See, my sister has a new bf but she claims this other guy is her one true love. Her current boyfriend def, thinks this guy is gay, as do I.

Advice?

tell him to stay away from your sister as she's gonna get hurt.

he's clearly messed up.

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Well, the thing is he doesnt know he was talking to me, but I made damn well sure to say to him that he should NOT lead girls on if he enjoys sex with men. I told him it would be really fucked up and he agreed.

But who knows what the fucker will really do.

tell him who you are!!!

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Im really not sure I want to do that.

What I was thinking was this: tell my sister I have a very reliable source that knows about his secret sex life?

I mean, he told me he had sex with a close friend when he was really young and if hes still doing it now hes clearly gay.

I could never carry that information and not tell my sister. It's better she si told about it and gets hurt and gets over him as fast as possible instead of going through more crap. Everyone gets hurt sometimes. It's already gone too far for you to prevent it.

Or I was thinking this: email him back and tell him I know who he is. Ill say Im very close friends with *my sister* and Ill tell her everything if you try to get back with her. Im just gonna say stay away from her in the emotional sense. Friends is ok ( i guess) but I really dont her to be friends with this piece of shit)

can he not be bi?

ummm i doubt he is bi. i know he never did anything sexually with my sister and when they were together he was very cold and unemotional. Plus there are tons of ppl that think 100% he is gay, myself included....even before i talked to him.

he was begging to get with me.

he could be bi though.. but i wouldnt tell your sister. what you dont know cant hurt you....

how do you KNOW its the guy?

because i know its him. it was his email address. he also sent me pictures of him.

he was also going to unlock his myspace profile so i could see his pictures...which my sister has him as number one on her page so i said id rather not. it would have been too weird.

my sister worked her ass off all summer just to get money for a plane ticket to fly to england to see his ass. she stayed in his room the whole time and cleaned it for him and did his laundry. he was so unnapreciative.

I agree with what's been said - you seem to be discounting any possibility that he's actually bisexual - but it does seem a bit odd. Surely if she has a boyfriend then it's not an issue though.

he's clearly a liar and is fucking her over. i'd either tell him, or tell your sister.

your best bet is to tell him.

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Guys, should I use that same email address and threaten him to stay away from her? Or should I flat out tell her I know shit about him?

well, the thing is he's had sex with the guy while with her. he wants her back.

Have to say, the one thing that I really don't understand is why you don't think you should tell her. Way I figure, if she loves him enough for it to be worth her being with him, she'll probably love him even if he has cheated and such. I would tell her. I would make sure that you don't do it in a way that could be construed as spiteful, just make it clear that you're concerned for her wellbeing.

I want to tell her. I think she should know.

But I was thinking this: email him back and let him know that I know what is going on. Tell him to stop trying to get with her. Ill say if he does try to get with her again Ill blow the lid off the whole thing, and tell my sister everything.

good idea?