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Old 03-25-2008, 11:56 AM
was silverchick
 
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when you feel like the friends are more important

I've been having this issue with my boyfriend, pretty much since the beginning of our relationship. I didn't really notice it that much at first because we work opposite schedules anyway, so it was hard to see him on weekends. I'm a waitress and he has a 9-5.
So we've been together for 8 months now and have gotten into a many a fight about him placing his friends above me. He's made an honest effort to include me in on his plans more than he was before but I still feel like he'd rather be with them than me. I'm also always trying to second guess why he called me, wondering if his friends had something better to do would he be with them.
This kind of thinking is really killing me and I know that it's somewhat accurate. Maybe I also just can't get over past moments where he did just that- choose them over me. It doesn't help that the friends he doesn't like to include me with are girls.
I don't know what kind of advise I'm asking for. Has anyone else been through something like this? It's turning me into this jealous crazy person and I just don't know if it's worth it anymore.

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Old 03-25-2008, 01:12 PM
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My boyfriend likes to spend time with his friends too, but it doesn't really bother me. I'm always invited to come along because in the past 3 or 4 years that we've been together I've become friends with his friends too, but that doesn't mean I always tag along, sometimes people just need time to be with their friends. Does your boyfriend get mad at you when you go see your friends?

It sounds like you're a little paranoid about this, especially the fact that his friends are girls. I think the best thing you could do would be to talk to him and let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable that he's hanging out with other women, even if they are friends. But of course, it also depends on who they are, for example, someone he's known for years vs. some girl he just met and is spending a lot of time with.

You just need to talk to him and let him know. It sounds like you've tried before, but instead of letting it turn into an argument just tell him you really want him to understand how you're feeling. That's the best advice I can give.
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Old 03-25-2008, 01:22 PM
was silverchick
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpermGerm2 View Post
My boyfriend likes to spend time with his friends too, but it doesn't really bother me. I'm always invited to come along because in the past 3 or 4 years that we've been together I've become friends with his friends too, but that doesn't mean I always tag along, sometimes people just need time to be with their friends. Does your boyfriend get mad at you when you go see your friends?

It sounds like you're a little paranoid about this, especially the fact that his friends are girls. I think the best thing you could do would be to talk to him and let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable that he's hanging out with other women, even if they are friends. But of course, it also depends on who they are, for example, someone he's known for years vs. some girl he just met and is spending a lot of time with.

You just need to talk to him and let him know. It sounds like you've tried before, but instead of letting it turn into an argument just tell him you really want him to understand how you're feeling. That's the best advice I can give.
It's not that it bothers me that he spends time with his friends. It's that I know that he would prefer that I not be there. You see, I'm not always invited. Especially when he hangs out with these 2 girls that he became friends with about the time that we met.
We've talked about it to death.
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Old 03-25-2008, 01:25 PM
was silverchick
 
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Everyone needs friend time, I do as well. It's when his friends are his priority and I feel like the option when there's a problem.
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Old 03-25-2008, 02:38 PM
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To be honest, you sound a little paranoid.
Spend time with yr friends to keep yr mind busy.

Last edited by dollie_midget; 03-26-2008 at 06:46 AM.
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