I really like this guy but his ex (who he was with for four years) is still very much "on the scene" and it's quite/very off putting. I realise that four years is a long time to be with someone and I haven't cut any of my exs out of my life and I'd never expect him to do that. It's just she's always telling him that she loves him. She still refers to him in affectionate terms (baby, sweetheart etc..) and he says she tells all her friends that she still loves him too. She is always saying how they should hang out and everything and yeah, they do sometimes meet up...but I don't know, to me it sort of makes me want to run for the hills (run foooor yooouuur lives...lalala ) as it seems like it's unfinished business. It seems like he thinks it is but she doesn't.

I've *been* that ex and so I can understand what it feels like and to an extent where she's coming from but still, do you think I should leave them to it? On a side note (ding) she looks (slightly) like an uglier version of me and I wonder if he's just wanting a replacement of her...hmmm

There's really no excuse for her behaviour.

She needs to know that she's out and you're in. She sounds a bit desperate (and I'm pretty sure your guy sees this too) and she's basically trying to make you look bad because she wants what you have.

You need to take her to one side and tell her that shit's not on.

After you make your feelings known to your boyfriend and have his support. You really don't need her going back to him and calling you a jealous cow.

Which I don't think you are by the way!

i'd leave it alone.

obviously there's unfinished business there, and if it was just on her end he'd put a stop to all that baby i still love you nonsense. he must enjoy it or need it on some level to let it continue. or maybe he just loves the attention in which case he'd probably turn out to be a shitty boyfriend anyways.

Thank you for the support. He's not m boyfriend yet...well I wouldn't call him that, I guess we're in the process of it and that is why the issue of her comes up.
I'd feel a bit of a hypocrite as I was still sleeping with my (most recent) ex for almost the entire time he had a girlfriend and so i'd feel that I couldn't say anything to her as I'd behaved in *almost* the exact same way...except I don't think this guy is sleeping with her..well I bloody hope he's not.

yeah i'm inclined to...I have lots going on in my life (not relationship wise) that needs sorting and so yeah, I'd miss it..but ya know? I have told him how off putting it is...and he does his best to reassure me (insert marge simpson style worried hmmm) I mean I guess he doesn't want to hurt her feelings but still...