Has anyone here kept around someone who cheated on them early in a relationship and not regretted it?

boyfriend (ex?) just told me last night he cheated on me two weeks ago with a coworker and hes so sorry and all that. I've not experienced this before and my immediate instinct is to stop being foolish, and break up with him immediately. my more sentimental instinct wants to give him another chance. you know its so easy to tell your best friend that she deserves better and should leave the asshole, but its so hard to follow through yourself.

somewhere inside im pretty sure that i would regret the decision to stay together, but i just havent had enough of him yet. it's only been three months, and we've done that stupid thing where we spend every waking moment together since the first day we met. ironically, the one saturday night we are apart, he fucks a coworker.

any seasoned advice would be much appreciated.

btw, i'm 23 and he's 27 and this is only his second serious relationship and my third, if that gives you any insight.

I wouldn't be able to stay with him honestly. The trust would be completely gone. Will you be happy being with him knowing that he cheated? I know that I'd be miserable.

I really cant tell. i dont know if i feel so horribly just because he cheated on me or also because i can't see keeping my integrity if we stay together, which would mean i have to break up with him. it's like he left me no choice. i dont know if this is something i can get over and stay with him, i've been physically ill and sleepless for the past 24 hours.

I think it would be best to call it off. It's only been three months, you're still in the "honeymoon" stage, and he's already cheated? It strikes me as bad news, although it was decent of him to tell you instead of finding out through someone else.

i would dump him especially being that it was w/ a coworker
thats way too humiliating
my ex did the same thing except she wouldn't admit to it
i dumped her because of it
always best to follow your immediate instinct

__________________
should i choose a noble occupation
if i did i'd only show up late and sick
and they would stare at me with hatred
plus my only natural talent's wasted

duh all men cheat. monogamy is dumb

so youve been here before

the hurt never actually goes away. once they've cheated just get rid, cos they actually dont change, no matter what people say.
good luck <3

I think most men(and women) cheat. But, monogamy isn't dumb. People are. Monogamy can be one of the most beautiful thing to experience. When you can't even think about being with someone else....*sigh*.

But, I took back a cheater. It was a mistake. I couldn't trust him anymore. I became a mega bitch, even though for good reason. It might work out ...one day. Maybe. But not for a few years.

You know what's going to happen? He's going to realize that he can get away with a lot more. And especially since it was with a coworker and you probably didn't have a clue that he was out being scandalous.

Make him fucking pay. Break up with him. Move out. Stop talking to him, whatever. If you think that you are definitely going back with him anyway, at least make him suffer like he's making you suffer now.

Men are like children. It's time for him to wear the dunce cap and sit in the corner.

holy moly thank you for that

I don´t think it´s that simple, but you seem to already have the answer. If it was definitely worth it, you wouldn´t say deep down you know you should leave him. There´s a difference between something you could possibly deal with (the pain) and something you can´t deal with (if you sense you can´t trust that person). Perhaps you should ask for some time apart to think I guess.
I guess it´d be easier for any of us to give you more insight if we knew why he cheated, did he tell you?

That's really tough....

I'm not sure if you've said the big L word to each ither yet but seeing as you've only been with him for 3 months I'd personally recommend you break up with him,

I mean, is it really worth constantly worrying if he'll do the same again when you're apart. Especially when he's at work.

And agree with me or not, there are different levels of cheating.

Sleeping witha co-worker is so much worse than sleeping with a randomer because there has ro be some sort of emotional attachment there.

Good luck whatever you do.

Haha, welcome.

I don't think time matters at all. I was with my boy for almost two years when he did that shit. I should have broke it off, walked away. But, I didn't.

I believe that he was totally faithful to me after what he did. But he fucked up. I couldn't trust him anymore.


If you think you guys have some sort of future and you don't want to breakup/give him space then go get some counseling. You're really going to need it.

Or get some cutie and rub it in his face. ha.

if you stay with him how are you going to feel when he goes to work every single day with this woman?

<<so youve been here before>>

To a degree.

I got back together with the ex that cheated on me later on regardless; he left me for another woman not saying yours is going to do this, but cheating so early in a relationship, and with someone he HAS to see all the time anyway, seems like an invitation for more stress than worth.

<<duh all men cheat.>>

Generalization much, eh?

if you can really, truly forgive him and not feel like he owes you and not hold it over him and not bring it up in future fights and you really love him, work it out and stay with him.

if you can't do that, then break it off and save yourself a whole lot of pain.

if it's only been three months, i wouldn't think it would be worth the effort it'll take on your behalf to fix it.

DON'T is my advice

Maybe it's just me but I have no tolerance whatsoever for cheaters and wouldn't be able to stay with one no matter HOW strongly I felt. I'm really insecure as it is and that'd just be the final straw. If you're anything like me, staying with him would probably result in a very complicated relationship full of trust issues

I have never been cheated on (as far as I know) so I can't say I know what it feels like to be in your position, but if it happened to me I think I would just dump him right away. I don't know how he could do something like that, especially when you've only been together a few months and you're still supposedly in the "honeymoon" stage.

By early on, I thought you meant a week or two in when you weren't sure you were being exclusive and all that. 2 and a half months into a "serious" relationship is NOT an acceptable time to cheat (not that there ever really is one). If he is willing to cheat this early on in a relationship, and with someone he sees all the time, then that is not a good sign at all. How far did the cheating go (do you know)? Cause if it was like, a 2 second drunken kiss, MAYBE that is forgiveable. But basically passing that boundary in the first place is a bad bad sign.

thanks so much for all the sincere responses

i broke up with him last night and watched him cry for 3 hours and it was really awful, and of course im secretly hoping he shows up at my doorstep in a few weeks on his knees. but who knows, he may start up that weekend valium habit again and forget all about it . oh, love.