..but I do. Last night someone who I considered to be a good friend, slept with one of my ex boyfriends, even after she knows everything he put me through. I just feel really hurt and gutted. I know it must seem silly to feel that way but I just do. I'm playing Live Through This rather loudly and i'm sure soon the Babes in Toyland and Bikini Kill will make their way onto the CD player in some vague attempt to make me feel better...God, people are cunts

I don't think you're stupid for being hurt by it.

Thanks...

She doesnt sound like a very good friend.How long ago were you with him? Weeks? months?years?

true.

hope you feel better

what a shitty thing to do.

don't feel stupid. SHE should feel stupid. she should feel like a cuntbag.

i hope you feel better.

No,please don`t feel stupid because i understand how you feel,it happened to me once and i was devastated,my "friend" listened while i poured my heart out about this man,cried myself stupid about him and about 12 months later they slept together.I felt so betrayed and needless to say we are no longer friends.Yes it is very,very shitty but at the end of the day you`ll be the one who can sleep soundly knowing that you are better off without either one of those cunts!

Kick-her-inna-vagina

(Too early to joke? )

I've almost been there. I had a "friend" listening to me vent about a situation with a guy I was with. It turns out she was waiting for us to break up so she could go after him. I also had a female friend who was hooking up with her guy friend. This guy had feelings for her. She didn't. So what did she do? Try to hook us up! Of course, I only ever found out they were hooking up because he told me! In fact, they made out, then directly afterwards she was showing him pictures of me to see if he was interested. Uh, thanks for the sloppy seconds? This kind of stuff is asinine to me. Your girls are supposed to have your back and give you the inside info no one else would tell you.
I also follow the golden rule- don't date your good friends ex's! If it has been a long time and I really have a connection with someone I would ask my friend if it was alright before going any further.

So how long had you and your ex been Exes/broken up? Just wondering bc if it had been years or something, she may have not thought it thru and been all "Oh no big deal"?

This actually has happened to me and to several people I know as well. I don't understand it -- if she was meant to be such a very goooood friend how did she not think to even say one word to you before doing the deed? OR was it a spur-of-the moment, drunk encounter or sthng?

In any case, Boo on her. She knew what you went thru with this guy, yeah? She's either extremely thoughtless or extremely uncaring, or else has an ego the size of Canada. imo of course.

Will you be saying anything to her, or just try to play it off?

Feel better. This sux.

Chyia, grrr

ew dump that so called friend. I think most people woud be hurt by such actions so don't feel stupid either.

It was definitely disloyal of her. Nuke the bitch.

i don't think you're being stupid, either. it's one of those weird situations cos it's kinda an unwritten rule that not everybody sees the point in...but even those who don't see the big deal about it know other people do so it's pretty shitty and selfish on their part when they do it.

my best friend had a messy break-up with a guy and then, a couple of months later, it transpired he'd started seeing this girl, emma, a good friend of ours from college. it was weird because the whole time he and my mate had been together, all he'd done was slag emma off and be really rude to her? so playground! but anyway, emma said things like "but you've been split up for ages!" and "you said you hated him and never wanted to see him again!" and "you said you were over it and hoped he'd be happy!". i know, emma's clearly either a bit simple or just conveniently side-stepping how much she was going to hurt my mate and it was option 2. so my mate told her she was DUMPED and that was the end of that. emma has sometimes tried to make amends but even though she actually doesn't now care, my mate still just feels totally betrayed and doesn't trust her so i don't think it'll ever happen.

your mate's being a bitch. everyone will be thinking it, even if you're wondering whether you're being silly or not. #it's such a shame when old friends fall out over new lovers!#

Isn't it a cardinal rule that friends don't do this?

i think so! even if she says it's fine: it's not fine.

If they'd broken up 10 years ago on good terms, I'd say they were free people in a free world and she had no right to complain.

But if a man has treated you badly and hurt you it is clearly bad form for your friend to go and reward him with sex.

I don't think that noone can EVER sleep with anyone who's been involved with somebody they know, you kind of have to look the big picture. And if you're in doubt you can always ask.

I broke up with my first bf 5 years ago, on friendly terms. The only rocky part was a few months where I missed him and wanted him back, but then I got over it. I don't think I'd care much if somebody I knew hooked up with him. Even if it was a close friend. If he'd been a major asshole to me, however, I'd expect my friends to steer clear.

Ew!..ummmm SLOPPY SECONDS?

Dont feel stupid for being hurt by this. It's almost like an act of betrayal. And isn't it a sort of unspoken rule that you just don't do these kind of things?

I'd take it as my friend doesnt give a flying fuck about me and I'd probably cut them loose. But thats just me.

And if she doesnt understand what a jerk he was then maybe they are made for each other?

once my friend messed around with my ex while we were all in the same bed and they thought i was asleep.

talk about awkward.

You are so valid in feeling hurt. Hooking up with friends exes is at all times wrong and should never be done. It's like the unwritten law of life, totally unacceptable.
She sure as hell aint no friend of yours.
Oh and someone already pointed out, you totally got there first anyway.