I used to be really good friends with this girl since we were 15 (we're almost 20 now) and we've had our ups and downs, mostly catty typical girl bullshit, but we had a falling out almost a year ago where we both said "I'm glad not to be friends with you anymore." Well. I was just going through some old pictures of us and I found one from when we first became friends and it made me miss her a lot. I miss her friendship. She wasn't a bad friend, neither was I, we both were just going through some hard shit and we both kind of overreacted over something so trivial when I think about now. I'm going to be visiting a really good friend of mine, but my ex bff lives with her and I know its going to be awkward. But I don't want it to be. I want to be her friend again. How the hell do I go about rekindling our friendship? I was thinking about just sending her the picture I found but that might be creepy. I just don't know what to say. We both said some harsh words to each other and I'm scared of rejection. Should I go for it anyway? Anyone else been in this situation?

Apologize for whatever happened, tell her you miss her friendship and ask if she wants to get together to talk. I think that's pretty much the only way. The worst that's going to happen is she says no and things continue the way they are.

I was extremely close friends with a girl I met off KR in 2000 when we were 15 or so. We had a huge falling out a year and a half ago and haven't spoken since. Sometimes I'd really like to know how she's doing and let her know that I really hope she's doing well, but I don't particularly want to open the door up for us being "friends" again because too much stuff happened that I'm sure both of us aren't willing to forget about. Losing friends sucks though - especially when there didn't seem to be any good reason for it.

I'm too stubborn to flat out say I'm sorry I think I will though, even though if she rejects me I'll look like a total moron when I go visit my friend and she's there.

Sending the pic would be so sweet. you could write "with friends like us, things like this go w/o saying. you know i miss you."

sometimes, you have to take a break seeing some people. it's way better than losing a friend for good.

good luck! i'm pretty sure it'll work out, you two have history, & good memories

that sounds almost exactly like what happened to me with my best friend. i'd been missing her for aaaaaaages (it had been about three and a half years since we last spoke), and then she randomly found me on the internet. and things have been great since then. i went to her 21st the weekend before last. and she's coming to mine, all going well.

but the thing is, i never would have taken the first step. i'm surprised she did, but she's changed quite a bit. so i reckon maybe you could search her on myspace and facebook and add her or something? or just send a message? someone's got to take the first step or nothing will happen. even if she doesn't want to talk to you, it's important to at least try.

The only thing holding me back is the fact that either way I'll see her in a month or so and if she rejects my friendship its going to be so damn awkward! But if I go without saying anything to her first I know we're just going to ignore each other and I sure as hell don't have the courage to say anything when I see her in person.

The last time this happened I wrote in myspace blog about how I miss her and sent her the link and she wrote back and everything was great. But, IDK IDK, maybe I'm just a creepy sentimental idiot with too much time on my hands and I should just let it go. But I even found the pictures she drew of me and letters she wrote and I'm all nostalgic and shit. *sigh*

well i reckon you should just message her and see how it goes from there. and be relaxed about it. just be like, "so hey, how's it going? haven't spoken to you in ages" or something. i know it's a huge deal but just be calm about it, i reckon it will go better that way.

Ah I'm going for it. If it doesn't work out then at least I tried.

yay!

I'd say let her make up if anything. I'm too proud and extremely bitter after my best friend left me down two years ago and still hasn't made up for it.

Are you me? This sounds exactly what happened to me and a friend of mine. Except we'd been friends since we were like 10. It's been about 3 years since I've even seen her though. It makes me sad when I look through old photos and stuff. But I think she probably hates my guts and doesn't want to ever see me again. And we could never be friends again because too much crap happened between us. It doesn't sound like its too late for you though. She probably misses you too.

i think apologising is a good idea

but don't expect anything from her. or you may very well be disappointed. anyways, she might still be holding a grudge but if you apologise genuinely then really the ball is in her court and if she still wants to be an asshole about things then i think you just have to let it go

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

my best friend and i stopped talking for 3 years because i didn't call her for a week once. we were close as could be for ten years.

then after 3 years, we ran into each other at a bar, and picked up where we had left off. a year and a half later, she stopped talking to me again because she didn't like how i acted one night when we went out. she hasn't spoken to me since april.

i missed her a lot during those 3 years and couldn't wait to get back together with her, but once i did i figured out why we went so long without talking in the first place.

i think sometimes it's like relationships. you break up for a reason and most of the time it won't work out again.

but then again sometimes it does work out for the best. maybe i'm just bitter. anyhow, i wish you the best of luck.

Before you go back to her, make sure you are certain about actually wanting to be her friend again. Remember that photo represents the ye of five years ago, not the ye of today. Everybody changes, and it's possible that you're being blinded by nostalgia. I'm sure it was probs a petty spat that led to ye falling out but yunno just in case it wasn't you don't want to regret getting involved with a bitch.

I wouldn't advise sending her the photo. Were I in her position, I'd be insulted that you'd think I could be so easily wavered. But I'm kinda weird so maybe it'll work on her idk.

I'd say just call her up, ask her how she's doing and say you want to be friends again. Tell her you miss her and that you'd like to talk things through.

Ok, well, all I have to say is she's the same arrogant bitch she always was I guess some people never change. And she still refuses to pay me back $300!!!

Now I can stop being such a sentimental weirdo.

I tried to make ammends about a half a year ago with this guy that I had weird tension with. He always wanted to talk and be friends but for some reason I just couldnt do it. This went on for 3+ years and I still never talked to him.

Well, I finally decided to fix things and try to be friends but hes over it. I do feel rejected but at the same time I deserve it. Plus, he's the type where if you hurt him enough theres no way you'll get back in his life. It sucks though because I know we were meant to be best friends. You know when you meet someone and you just feel it?

Sometimes I still wanna contact him but I know I'll just look stupid so I dont.

So you felt all that yet still you yourself were the one who decided to be cold with him for all that time, until the guy finally wised up?

Makes little to no sense to me.

I'm more than just a little curious, how you're planning, to go about making your amends...

I got in touch with him a while back to try to fix things, but he didnt write me back...well he did but under an assumed name, which is kind of dumb. I know online messaging is dumb but its the only way I could get in touch with him.

Basically, I just wanted to apologize for not talking to him. He's quite the sensitive person and I know it hurt him. But he also had plenty of opportunities to say something to me and he didnt.

I know it sounds weird/confusing, but its kinda hard to explain.

so is this really the person you still want to be friends with?

lissie was right about the (romantic) relationship comparison. friendships are just as important, if not more important than romantic relationships. and if she's still the same person that she was when you guys had your falling out, then there really isn't a valid reason for reconciliation unless you like shitty friends.

i've gone through this kind of stuff, too. i've never done anything regrettable to a friend and have always been apologized to and even begged for my forgiveness and of the handful of times that i've actually accepted, it's never worked out. fond memories are just that - fond memories.