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03-08-2008, 07:50 AM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 43
| | | are you ok with your b/f having female friends why or why not?
and if so, how close is too close? | 
03-08-2008, 10:48 AM
|  | brain problem situation | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,625
| | | i am ok with it.
it'd be pretty silly to expect somebody not to have friends of the opposite sex.
i have guy friends, he has girl friends, it's just the way it goes.
i don't really know what too close could be defined as, my bf's not too close with his female friends. they text and email once in awhile, and have lunch and stuff, but they don't talk a lot or hang out by themselves really. i'm a lot closer with my guy friends than he is with his girl friends. | 
03-08-2008, 10:49 AM
|  | This space for rent | | Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 618
| | | I have male friends, so how can I not be ok with him having female friends? I don't care b/c in the end, he only has one girlfriend and that's me. | 
03-08-2008, 11:29 AM
| | Registered Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: vancouver island
Posts: 163
| | | I don't mind it at all. It's unrealistic to expect that of someone you're dating. I think them wanting to spend more time with their friends than you is pushing it though.. not matter what the sex of their friend. I'm always a little wary of ex-girlfriends though.. my ex called his exgirlfriend 'Babe" while he was on the phone with her and I was in the room.. that was definitely out of line in my opinion. So pet-names for their female friends = not ok. | 
03-08-2008, 11:56 AM
|  | pioneering new emotions | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: nTown, UK
Posts: 4,587
| | | Depends on the ex, really. If they were friends before they were dating, or have been friends for years, I don't think it's such a problem. The petnames thing = same kind of thing really. If it's really off, you'll know; if you're not sure whether it's something you should worry about or not, you probably shouldn't. | 
03-08-2008, 01:23 PM
|  | self indulger | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 199
| | | i am ok... i think.. i try not to be jelaous, and not to make scenes, because he knows them longer than me | 
03-08-2008, 02:47 PM
|  | my coitus feels fabulous | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: not rolling silverware
Posts: 1,420
| | | currently, my boyfriend doesn't have any female friends. sometimes he runs into old female friends he used to be close to long ago and they kick it when they run into each other. if he suddenly made friends with some girl he'd never known before, i'd be wary, but that's only because whenever we have talked about old friends, he always seems to have had crushes on all his previous female friends. however, running into these past girls doesn't phase me one bit, i dunno, i guess because of the time elapsed it never worries me when he does run into them and hang out.
i don't know how i would react if he started becoming friends with a girl i didn't know myself, only because it's been a long time since he's had a girl friend that wasn't a friend of one of his actual girlfriend, except for me, and well, now i'm his girlfriend. but i do have mostly guy friends myself, have even slept with one of my closest guy friends a long time ago. they're really close friends too, and it WAS years ago. i sometimes wonder if it bothers him when i talk about hanging out often with guys at work, old male friends of mine that i've recently come back in contact, etc since we live so far away though. so far he has not been jealous, nor should he be.
i like to think i wouldn't be panicky, especially considering how much of a hypocrite i would definately feel in that case, but i think i'd actually probably start emotionally weening myself from him as a defense mechanism. I suppose it also depends on the degree of closeness, me and all his previous crushes have doubled as really close friends, so if it were a fairweather acquaintance it wouldn't annoy me at all.
i've had previous boyfriends who've had really good female friends, and i never worried once, but they'd not only known them longer than me, they'd never had stories of having crushes on all these close girl friends of their past or present, at least none they shared.
really though i'm not too concerned about it, and figure i'll deal with it on a case-by-case situation whenever it happens. it's probably the best way to go. | 
03-08-2008, 02:55 PM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chicago/NYC
Posts: 1,564
| | | I don't think anyone has the right to ban their boyfriend from having female friends. That is totally ridiculous. If he can't be trusted being around other girls, then you shouldn't be with him. | 
03-08-2008, 02:55 PM
|  | pioneering new emotions | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: nTown, UK
Posts: 4,587
| | | This won't do at all. MORE CRAZY IN THIS THREAD PLZ. | 
03-08-2008, 03:05 PM
|  | sugar britches | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: here. in my head
Posts: 1,691
| | | if i am giong to be with someone, i have to trust them. and i am not the jealous type. now, i am sure there would have to be boundaries. like no sleeping in the same bed and such. in my case, there would be more worries of people of the same sex instead of the opposite sex. and the only problem i have in any relationship is lying. as long as you tell the truth, i am game for about anything. | 
03-08-2008, 04:53 PM
|  | bedroom revolutionary | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: under neon loneliness
Posts: 5,792
| | | I have to be okay with it because I'm super close to some of my male friends, and see them quite a lot. It'd just be hypocritical to object to him seeing his female friends, and in any case why would I mind? Having female friends doesn't mean he's cheating on me.
__________________ We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the Party. | 
03-08-2008, 05:09 PM
|  | Lets stay up | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Australia
Posts: 7,496
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by ShyViolet I don't think anyone has the right to ban their boyfriend from having female friends. That is totally ridiculous. If he can't be trusted being around other girls, then you shouldn't be with him. | ^ | 
03-08-2008, 05:18 PM
|  | BIG AND HORNY | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Into the Pandemonium
Posts: 6,673
| | | Of course. I have a lot of male friends too and I like to assume that boyfriends think about their female friends in the same way I think about my male friends... ie. they're just friends.
Most boyfriends get jealous of my friendship with Ruth. Then it is dumping time.
__________________ Juices like wine, like the blood in the sands. | 
03-08-2008, 07:18 PM
| | was silverchick | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Brookline/Boston MA
Posts: 116
| | | The majority of my boyfriend's friends are girls. I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't bother me from time to time. I feel like some of them see me as competition for his attention. : / | 
03-08-2008, 07:36 PM
|  | irony maiden | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
| | | i really get annoyed when girlfriends aren't okay with me being friends with their boyfriend/girlfriend. especially when there's no previous instances of us getting off or anything, ffs. i'm having this problem with two insecure girlfriends of friends at the moment. i am not some kind of boyfriend/girlfriend stealing harpy and i really don't know why anyone would think that i am. | 
03-08-2008, 08:23 PM
|  | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat i really get annoyed when girlfriends aren't okay with me being friends with their boyfriend/girlfriend. especially when there's no previous instances of us getting off or anything, ffs. i'm having this problem with two insecure girlfriends of friends at the moment. i am not some kind of boyfriend/girlfriend stealing harpy and i really don't know why anyone would think that i am. | They think you're in disguise. Queen of the harpies! Here's your crown, your majesty!
__________________ Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter | 
03-08-2008, 08:55 PM
|  | The March Hare | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 203
| | I think it's fine; our world is comprised of women and men (and others, but prob not relevant here) so he's bound to have to be friendly with females no matter what. He will work with them, at the very least.
It's a little unnerrving when they're friends with ex's, of course, but overall you have to trust them; if they get back together (worst case scenario) then you dodged a bullet, even if it hurts or something. I know of a girl who systematically cut *all* of the females from her boyfriend's life (including a cousin and girls who are dating family member's, like his brother's girlfriend) and it just sucked - both her and him are pretty alone and pathetic now. So don't do that.
Plus, the female friends can offer perspectives on issues that may be good for your relationship, like how to suprise you or something fun. I wouldn't worry yer purty head about it  | 
03-08-2008, 09:08 PM
|  | BIG AND HORNY | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Into the Pandemonium
Posts: 6,673
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by bort They think you're in disguise. Queen of the harpies! Here's your crown, your majesty! | One of my favourite guys in the world, is not allowed to talk to me anymore because according to his girlfriend I am too pretty. What kind of fucked up bullshit is that?
__________________ Juices like wine, like the blood in the sands. | 
03-08-2008, 09:17 PM
|  | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronette One of my favourite guys in the world, is not allowed to talk to me anymore because according to his girlfriend I am too pretty. What kind of fucked up bullshit is that? | Shit's rough. You're just going to have to tell her in no uncertain terms that you're going to do what you wanna. If she wasn't so insecure. Have you fucked him often before, and how recently?
__________________ Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter | 
03-08-2008, 09:49 PM
|  | BIG AND HORNY | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Into the Pandemonium
Posts: 6,673
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by bort Shit's rough. You're just going to have to tell her in no uncertain terms that you're going to do what you wanna. If she wasn't so insecure. Have you fucked him often before, and how recently? | I have never fucked him. She knew he was friends with me cause we worked together but only after she met me she decided this. I do miss him though and he is too scared to hang out with me because he doesn't want her to dump him. Soooooooooo retarded.
__________________ Juices like wine, like the blood in the sands. | |