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  #1  
Old 03-06-2008, 07:38 PM
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OneBreath OneBreath is offline
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Arrow Boyfriend Doesn't Like Body Issues

Ok well if you havent heard I am in an online relationship with a guy who is a year younger than me.


I have issues with my body and i simply ask him for advice or reassurance and doesn't really like to give me any, any time i try to ask what he likes or to go into detail he goes "I dont know!". He's the only person I have in my life and I have no one else to discuss this stuff with and I need him for security, and I thought that had a great deal to do with what a gf and bf is about and he just doesnt seem to want to re-assure me. I can understand it can get annoying cause it gets repetitive but I only keep asking him because he keeps refusing to really say anything or go into detail. He doesnt have any preference for hair color, he says. then he says my hair is "too blonde" (Which is weird because it's just dirty blonde w/ highlights but w/e). The closest he gets to try to reassure me is saying typical one-liners like "youre perfect looking" and I go "why" and he's just like "i dont know." it really bugs me! we fight about it a lot. I think it's just cause he's 16 and he's immature and doesn't want to deal with it. He even says "I don't want to be your father or your psychiatrist." And now he says stuff like "youre not the same person I feel in love with." And he even says he feels trapped because he could never leave me for the timebeing because he's all I have and he knows it would crush me and he's afraid i ll hurt myself or something.

I dont know. It just seems he doesn't focus on appearance enough and doesnt give me enough compliments except my boobs,which is great but i dont want to feel like thats the only good thing about me. He says "I love you" a lot. A little TOO MUCH. It's gotten kinda old. So I guess he cares about me but..

i guess im just expecting too much from a 16-year old. its part of the reason why i was never into them in the first place. I don't think it would be this bad IRL, its just cause all we can do is talk until we meet (which i dunno when or if even).

Last edited by OneBreath : 03-06-2008 at 07:47 PM.
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  #2  
Old 03-06-2008, 08:06 PM
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edit: delete

Last edited by ♥♪!? : 03-06-2008 at 08:12 PM.
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  #3  
Old 03-06-2008, 08:27 PM
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my bf was shocked that i drink full fat milk
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  #4  
Old 03-06-2008, 08:30 PM
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he sounds fed up/inarticulate/both

you sound a little bit ..cloying

why would you want to stay with someone "for security" and when he tells you he feels "trapped because he could never leave [you] for the timebeing because he's all [you] have and he knows it would crush [you] and he's afraid [you'll] hurt [yourself] or something"? doesn't that make you feel embarrassed and even a bit guilty?

amaze him and dump him before he dumps you
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  #5  
Old 03-06-2008, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilybett View Post

amaze him and dump him before he dumps you
EXACTLY!!!
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  #6  
Old 03-06-2008, 08:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilybett View Post
he sounds fed up/inarticulate/both
yeah i think that may be part of it

also i think maybe he really does like you and find you attractive but its just a feeling that he has and doesn't question as to why so thats why he has no answer for you
you should just be happy that he does have those good feelings for you

though i do know the i love you thing can be a bit much and maybe this is what is prompting yo u to ask him what he likes in the first place because maybe you feel he is being insincere or getting ahead of himself/doesn't really mean what he says or whatever of that sort

you think he doesn't focus enough on looks but its probably you focusing too much on them

maybe tell him you would feel a lot better if he gave you specific compliments about things he likes about you rather than just taking the easy route of constanly saying i love you ?
it tends to wear out fast and become pointless when people just say it out of habit or whatever

and you're right 16 is young
especially for a guy
you would probably be best off to find yourself an 18 yr old if you can since you are still 17 i guess thats about as far ahead as you can go at this point

you should be happy when you turn 18! (I don't know when that is)
though i doubt you will be, but hopefully you will know better than to complain so much to us about this type of shit at that point, because by then it will all just be up to you really

good luck
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  #7  
Old 03-06-2008, 09:06 PM
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Nobody likes body issues.

Especially if you keep on about them.

You have a right, like, once a month to bitch about your body. And you should probably be bloated when you do it, because everyone can be sympathetic towards a bloated person.

If you get my drift...
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  #8  
Old 03-06-2008, 09:09 PM
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That wasn't too hard to catch.
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  #9  
Old 03-06-2008, 09:13 PM
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if you focus on your body that much and ask him his opinion on your looks that often, it just makes you look entirely self-absorbed. deal with your body issues yourself.. no one else will make you feel better about how you look except for yourself.
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  #10  
Old 03-06-2008, 09:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rotten Berry View Post
Nobody likes body issues.

Especially if you keep on about them.
yeah. imagine if your boyfriend was always bleating on about how he felt ugly and how he hated himself. i go for cocky jack-the-lads precisely because it's REALLY not sexy, and it's difficult to know what to say to people when they're like that. the fact is that he probably can see many flaws about you - you being human and all - but he doesn't care - that's why he's there!! he can SAY you're beautiful or whatever a million times but if you don't feel it, then he might as well not bother. if the way you look makes you feel so bad, then change it. no matter what they say, nobody else can change the way you feel about yourself.
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  #11  
Old 03-07-2008, 08:15 PM
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You sound incredibly whiny and annoying, to be honest. It's not normal to constantly need reassurance on your physical appearance like that. Your bf is not the one with the problem. You need to get over your insecurity issues.
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Old 03-07-2008, 08:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss.Steele View Post
my bf was shocked that i drink full fat milk
Cause you is skinny he's like omg how is that poss that she be drinking that n b a skinny~
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  #13  
Old 03-07-2008, 09:22 PM
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Cause you is skinny he's like omg how is that poss that she be drinking that n b a skinny~
Full fat milk tastes teh best. Never drink anything else!
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  #14  
Old 03-07-2008, 10:13 PM
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  #15  
Old 03-07-2008, 10:37 PM
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well you're obviously fishing for compliments and should shut up because he'll probably dump you if you don't.
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  #16  
Old 03-08-2008, 01:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShyViolet View Post
You sound incredibly whiny and annoying, to be honest. It's not normal to constantly need reassurance on your physical appearance like that. Your bf is not the one with the problem. You need to get over your insecurity issues.
I think everyone has insecurity issues to a certain extent, though...guys & girls. Is anyone really 100% w/ their bodies?

PS- how exactly does an "online" relationship work?
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  #17  
Old 03-08-2008, 01:49 AM
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Originally Posted by cheshirecat View Post
well you're obviously fishing for compliments and should shut up because he'll probably dump you if you don't.
Haha, this.
Most guys will play along for a while with the fishing thing, then get bored of it. My boyfriend has a great attitude towards it: "if you think you're so fat just go on a diet".
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  #18  
Old 03-09-2008, 03:16 AM
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Sucide is the answer.
In your case.
tips from brit-brit
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  #19  
Old 03-09-2008, 03:49 AM
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yousee my problem is this
 
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well you're obviously fishing for compliments and should shut up because he'll probably dump you if you don't.
yeah I guess.

Theres more to it than just that though. I don't know if I should make a diff. thread for a diff. issue?
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  #20  
Old 03-09-2008, 05:02 AM
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hes an INTERNET bf you fucking moron. he hasnt even met you. how the fuck does he even know if your fat or not. everyones got the good camera angles these days
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