I broke up with my ex boyfriend, my first love, three years ago and
have never stopped wanting him back or loving him.
We broke up for good reasons, both struggling with image issues that we've since grown out of and overcome. It was the intensity of these issues that caused the split, not our compatibility as people.
We have always remained on good terms and constantly email light hearted anecdotes to one another.
He has a new girlfriend now who he lives with and has been with for over a year and seems very happy with.
We met up recently for a drink and I ended up in floods of tears because I'm still emotionally raw STILL, what the fuck? I just can't get over him. I managed to pass of the tears as happy ones because I think it's best to not tell him how I feel.
Firstly, I doubt it's reciprocated as he's not pursuing me, secondly if he does secretly harbour feelings the more you chase a man the more he runs so I'd rather his feelings blossomed for me in due course if they ever do and keep my dignity.
Basically Is it right to feel this intensity of love for someone you haven't been with for three whole years? I do rose tint things a lot like everyone does, but I don't feel like this about any of my other exes.
Advice/suggestions...do I tell him how I feel or leave it?

At first thought, I'd say leave it.

If he seriously feels anything for you, he'll figure this out in time and make the necessary moves towards you again. But you can't push it, especially when he's in a fairly serious relationship with someone new.

I can't say whether it's right to still have those feelings after three years but if the breakup was fairly okay and there are no hard feelings between you, it's not surprising. Usually a bit of hatred manages to set the balance back to neutral after breakups, but I suppose you've never really had that.

The problem with leaving it is that your feelings might never go away. This might sound a bit masochistic, but if you did tell him how you feel, and he rejected you, that might provide the hurt you need to be able to get over him and move on.

Either way, it's best not to get your hopes up. Three years is a long time to have been apart. And even if you did end up together again, things might have changed, and the stuff that made your relationship work before might not be there anymore.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

Talk to him? I think you should be totally honest with him but don't express any expectations to get back together because you don't want trouble from his girlfriend. It sounds like the reason you haven't moved on is because you never addressed it. If you don't address it, you will never move on. You need to address it!

While getting back together may or may not be an option here, he can at least provide you with the clarity you need to move on.

I think you're right.
The only reason I've kept quiet is because I don't want to be rejected and for him to have the power of me in that way.

I'm a stubborn person myself and can totally empathize with your not wanting him to have the upper hand. But you have to realize that in putting yourself through this, you're letting him have more power over you. After three years, surely he's mature enough not to derive petty satisfaction from the hold he has over you. And you're mature enough to swallow your pride too. It's obvious that you need him to co-operate an he'll be helping you in rejecting you.

Thanks for your input, it's actually really helped me put things into perspective.
There's something quite romantic about it all don't you think? I get the impression you can empathise.
I think when a suitable opportunity arises, I'll tell him how I feel just to get it off my chest.

that's a tough situation, i think you're best to try to let it go and move forward. sometimes going backwards only makes things worse.

continue being friendly and if it's meant to happen it will on its own.

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It's been THREE YEARS and he's in a serious relationship with someone else now. I think you are wasting your time and energy with this. You need to move on, and if seeing him and talking to him is preventing you from moving on, then maybe you need to stop seeing/talking to him for a while. If he wanted to be with you then he wouldn't be in a relationship with someone else.

You're totally right. I'm making strong headway in trying to move on.

It's also totally obvious that you need to devote more time to yourself and your personal interests. You are an individual, remember, and there are so many things in the world for you to discover. I think that as you gain more independence and self-worth (for I sense that you are lacking in it), this guy will accordingly become more insignificant/trivial as a part of your life. It makes sense, doesn't it? Fill your life with meaningful things and push this guy to the side. There are more important things deserving of your time

This was the best thing I ever did. I got the response I needed to hear, the fact that he's grown out of our time together and has truly moved on to being a completely different person all together.
I have since thrown myself into meeting as many new people as possible and re discovering my strength. I even have a new boy piece on the scene!
Thanks everyone for their comments, it really helped me put this to rest once and for all.

Stella, it's time for you to get your groove back!

Haha, that's great to hear

Ha! Awesome! Cheers again!