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  #1  
Old 03-06-2008, 10:22 AM
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Dating your Opposite....

So, they say opposites attract, and I'm just wondering if anybody has found this to be true or false.

Normally I date boys who are similar to me, basically who are into the same things and ideals.

But...I'm trying to branch out, so...this new boy that I'm dating is my total opposite. He's a jock, I'm a hippie. So far so good. Suprisingly better then i would have expected actually.
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Old 03-06-2008, 10:29 AM
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My current guy is pretty much an opposite to me...at least when it comes to certain things. I do believe there does have to be a little bit of similarity though.

He's into cars & TV. I hate cars and don't watch TV. He's fat & eats unhealthy. I'm very much a healthfreak & thin. He doesn't get caught up in trends and expensive designer clothing. I'm a clotheshorse who jumps on every fashion trend.

The stuff that really matters we both have in common though. Both comparable education, comparable jobs, both want the same things out of life & have similar morals & values...but in terms of our interests & hobbies, we are completely different.

And it works.
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Old 03-06-2008, 10:37 AM
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the guy i'm seeing is quite my opposite. he's into classic rock, motorcycles and video games, he's also very fit.

however we connect so well that the things we do have in common make our differences seem very small.

in fact i enjoy learning from him and he's opened my eyes to new ideas and things and i've done the same. the fact that he's gone from loving heavy metal and "guy" rock to being a huge sigur ros fans amazes me!
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Old 03-06-2008, 11:02 AM
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my boyfriend and i are COMPLETE opposites! maybe this is why i want to kill him sometimes (see other thread lol) but.... we get along so well the rest of the time that it really does just make the differences fade away.

he is so different from me, so understanding and kind (not that i'm not kind or understanding, he's just reaaaally kind and understanding) and so good with people. he's really changed me! and as for him, i never thought i'd hear him singing along to any bobby darin songs, but it has happened lol!
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Old 03-06-2008, 12:48 PM
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my bf and i are opposites.
i think it takes some more work to make the relationship last when you have very little in common, but it can be worth it.

the only things we have in common are a couple television shows that we both like. that's IT. but it does make things more interesting i think.
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Old 03-06-2008, 12:51 PM
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My boyfriend is very unlike me which is why I like him so much. I'm on the quieter side and he's extremely outgoing. I'm more emotional and reflective whereas he's pretty much the opposite.
It works in some ways and doesn't in others.
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Old 03-06-2008, 01:25 PM
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the last guy i dated was my opposite. he was my coworker's roommate and asked me out for a drink right after i found out how old he was, so i declined. but we happened to both show up at a friend's gathering one night and ended up talking in the corner for 3 hours oblivious to everyone else. i discovered that he was a physics major and was actually very sharp and intelligent.
after our second night out i found out he was an officer in a fraternity, he drove a bmw with a retarded lcd screen that came out of the dash, had a framed picture of himself in front of his car in his living room, owned a roomba and used it almost every day, and right before we stopped seeing each other he got a pete wentz fauxhawk. and sadly, the only reason we stopped seeing each other is because i didn't have time for him. or as he put it, i wouldn't make time for him.
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Old 03-06-2008, 02:09 PM
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I think it depends what you mean by oppisite. It seems fine to have oppisite interests but not oppisite personality traits, if you get what I mean?
This isn't actually a well thought out hypothesis. My bf and his mates we're talking about this the other night. He was telling them that we're oppisites but they disagreed saying we were both stubborn and obsessive (just about different things). Thinking about it, they were right.
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Old 03-06-2008, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by cinder View Post
It seems fine to have oppisite interests but not oppisite personality traits, if you get what I mean?
my bf and i have completely opposite personalities.

he's quiet and shy and very anxious about everything. i'm loud and outgoing and have a who cares attitude. he's very nice and polite and sweet to everyone, and i'm more abrasive. nothing about our personalities is similar.
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Old 03-06-2008, 03:06 PM
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Originally Posted by cinder View Post
It seems fine to have oppisite interests but not oppisite personality traits, if you get what I mean?
Well, there is such thing as a clash of personalities, especially among people with self-identity issues (and at the end of the day, don't we all have issues with self-identity?). I would almost say that the opposite holds more truth, that a common interest brings people together but differing personality traits would prevent them from becoming boring to one another.

I think a balance is necessary. Different enough to be interesting to each other but similar enough to get along.
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Old 03-06-2008, 09:46 PM
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I *really* like my current boyfriend and we are very much opposites. He is a football loving, fitness freak, who is a hardline socialist, wears possibly the most unhip clothes known to man and likes Dido. I am positively opposed to all of the above. Oh and he loved The Science of Sleep. WHO COULD LIKE THAT FILM? Oh and he wants to get a dog. I hate dogs so much I won't let them touch me. It seems to work though- we do have some shared interests and we are both stubborn as hell, so sometimes I want to smack him over the political arguments we have. But I reckon it can work pretty nicely.
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Old 03-07-2008, 01:38 PM
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Cool

My husband and I are not-quite-completely opposite.

He gets Social Anxiety to the extent of passing out (well, not anymore, but he used to); and is only comfy with people he has known for donkey's years.

The first year we were dating he came to see my band play 3 or 4 times and finally blurted out, "How can you DO that? I wouldn't be able to even stand on that stage!" ??? wow.

It's a PITA to try to get him to go places, like even to the movies, bc he just doesn't want to be around people that much. I'm Aspie/agorophobic myself, but c'mon -- a MOVIE??

haha BUT: we are both uber-anal about money, our kids, and some other very basic stuff.
Other opposites also are built in: Like,
I'm a neat-freak; he's a slob and a pack-rat. lol ~sigh~ and grrr

Somehow we balance each other. There's areas where I can't cope and he can; others that are no big deal to me but he couldn't deal with them in a million years.

So yeah. Sometimes "opposite" is A-OK. As long as it's not OPPOSITIONAL! That's a whole 'nother thang. blech.



Chyia, ever so married
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Old 03-07-2008, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cinder View Post
It seems fine to have oppisite interests but not oppisite personality traits, if you get what I mean?
I think you can be fine both having opposite interests and/or opposite presonality traits; like Lissie and her bf, but I think the biggest problem would lie in having totally different way of viewing things, as in whats important, morals, how to treat other people etc.
I think those couples that are quite "different" from each other are usually more alike than they think, you can look at them and see that they connect on, uh, a more profound level - I'm sorry, I'm trying not to sound cheesy here.. But I hope you understand, they work together well and understand each other even if their main traits differ.


Me, I like people that are as much like me as possible.
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Old 03-10-2008, 11:56 PM
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my boyfriend and i SEEM like exact opposites - we have different social circles and music taste and come from different countries and extremely different cultures (he is arab and i am your boring run of the mill whitey) but our personalities are so fucking similar.

it's crazy. i think we are different enough to keep one another interested but similar enough to have that fundamental common ground.
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Old 03-12-2008, 06:34 AM
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Just because you're a hippy and he's a jock doesn't mean you're absolute opposites.

Because you're already together, there must be somehow you both connect with each other on a deeper level.

I'm moving in with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years in May. I have been described as a hipster by my friends ( I don't know how close to the truth that is though) and my boyfriend is...a huge gaming nerd. At the start of our relationship we had different friends and different tastes in almost everything but somehow now, we've ended up with the same friends and find ourselves indulging in each others interests. It just sort of happens when you spend enough time with someone.
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Old 03-12-2008, 07:16 AM
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So, he's not my boyfriend...but he might as well be.

Chris is my complete opposite--in everything. He is 6'4''-6'5'', I am 5'4''-5-5''. He is tall and lanky and i am short and have more curves. Chris loves to fly helicopters, I am terrified of my feet leaving the ground. I could sit for hours and read. He cant sit still for 2 minutes, unless he's playing his guitar. I can't follow a tune to save my life. He is very elitist in his musical tastes and mine have no limits. He loves breakfast and all breakfast foods. Thats my least favorite meal of the day. He loves hockey and really cant stand basketball and volleyball. I love basketball and volleyball and cant really stand hockey. He is extremely graceful and i trip over my own feet daily. He eats IMMENSE amounts of food--unhealthy food, at that. I eat little and VERY healthily. He is quiet, reserved, polite, extremely shy, and honestly, a bit "stand-off ish". I am loud, intense, a bit abrasive, extremely outgoing, and will walk up and give complete strangers a hug.

People around us say we balance each other out. I think that is what makes a great relationship. When your partner compliments your good qualities but also tones down your bad ones...

and chances are... i am going to marry this boyy.
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Old 03-12-2008, 07:44 AM
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this boy i'm seeing is very very similar to me. except maybe a bit more obnoxious and argumentative. it's disconcerting. i'm very attracted to him. it might just be my ego though... like i'm into me really, not him.
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Old 03-12-2008, 07:59 AM
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I liked the science of sleep, insomnia.
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Old 03-12-2008, 08:58 AM
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I liked the science of sleep, insomnia.
I am trying not to judge you for that and failing miserably.
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