Hey all, I'm looking for some advice.

Basically, I hate my mother. There are millions of reasons why, and I don't feel like getting into all of them, but I would have to say the biggest one is that she makes me, and my sisters, feel like we aren't important and that we are more of a hassle than anything. It's probably the worst feeling I have ever felt. She acts like we are such disturbances when in relaity we don't even bother her all that much. In fact, I barely even speak to her.

She takes all of the bad decisions she has made out on us, including marrying and having 4 children with a maintenance man who barely made $20,000 a year even if he was granted all the luck in the world.

I need to learn how to tune her out. My 15 yr old sister says she has learned to just blot her out, and she doesnt understand why I cant do it. It might be that since she basically is my only parent I still have some hope, but I think I have lost all of it.

How do you guys tune people out so that what they say and do can't hurt?

ear phones.

I like to play a song I like in my head.

Do you live with her?

yes, i just finished school so i'll be here for a bit longer. i'm not trying to make a big deal about it, but it's kind of hard to be treated in such a way.

for example: im pretty much the only one who cleans, empties and fills the dishwasher, straightens up the kitchen and her bathroom for her. i also clean up after my sisters and their boyfriends but yet she claims no one ever does anything.

it's like, why should i even do it anymore? nothing is ever appreciated. oh and its Her house, Her mop, Her everything. Never have I ever heard of a mother saying any of that to thier kids. Oh, when you come down can you bring me down MY windex and my Broom?

She's so sad.

Focus on something else.
The harder you concentrate, the more brain power you use, so your brain switches off 'power' to the non essential parts, like hearing.

Have an internal dialogue when she speaks.

Learn to say yes or mhmm at lulls inna conversation

Agree with everything she says ...

This works for everyone and everything
Not just your mother

Bob's character has it down cold.
Whether you trash the place or not is completely up to you.

I was in a similar situation when I lived with my dad. He seriously drove me crazy and I couldn't stand him as a person. I still can't. I finally moved out but I lived with him for quite a while until I could move out.

Just try to not be home as much as possible I guess. Go out a lot, focus on other things, and ignore her when you're home. Don't waste your time getting into arguments with her, since you know she won't listen to you. If she starts bitching at you just cut off the conversation or leave. And obviously move out as soon as possible if you dislike her that much.

I zone out my sister all the time. She is VERY annoying and has nothing in common with me. So I work hard to pretend she isn't there. Just don't really listen when she talks, let the words run over you like water and just make affirmative noises periodically.

I have to tune my sister out all the time. Shes a pain in the arse, theres not one thing i can honestly say i like about her.
I tend to just nod, answer with one words, agree with what she says and just sing to myself when shes annoying me. Or I slam a door in her face.

god she sounds like a bitch. my mum makes me feel like that a lot of the time, she goes through phases. at the moment she treats me like a five year old in public and it's really embarrassing.

i have no idea how to help you unfortunately, i can't even help myself. whenever i try to talk to her about it she just turns it around on me, it's like she doesn't think she's to blame for ANYTHING AT ALL in her entire life. it's pathetic. she thinks she's the perfect mother and i'm RUDE and "UNLADYLIKE" (she's been saying this to me pretty much since i was born i think). i think she's desperate to control me. it's so embarrassing and pathetic. none of my friends that i've met since high school have met her and she wonders why! ugh.

While her decisions may not have been beneficial to you, they also may have been the only ones she could make. I guess you're in a tough spot, cos you want to love your mom, but try to understand her side of it a bit too. If all else fails, move out. The parent/child relationship almost always improves shortly thereafter.

Here's how:

Basically, make that happen somehow.

I can tune anything out, it just goes away after a while, try getting on the computer and when your mom talks, be so absorbed, into it that you can't hear her, lol

I was able to tune out some really freaky annoying guy who came to look at my room (it's going to be rented out) and wouldn't leave, within about 20 mins of him being there. I no longer heard his voice. Not sure how you do it though. It usually happens to boyfriends that I live with too.

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Juices like wine, like the blood in the sands.

Here's step 1: Don't do anything, because when you do actually do something around the house and she says you didn't - you can't get mad.