Ahhh where do i start. I have already posted on here about my overprotective boyfriend... i just dont know what to think anymore..

He hacked my email and some profile pages i have to see who i was talking to... constantly goes through my phones... if i get a text hel ask who it is or make a "joke" its my other boyfriend... doesnt like me being out with my friends having "fun"...comments on my make up and hair dye ( i hardly wear any make up apart from going out and when im out he says he doesnt like it..)..he likes me *natural*. Its my 21st birthday soon and me and my best friend are planning 4 nights away and he says he is so worried he cant even talk about it with me... doesnt want me to go. If i tell him im horney he make silly remarks about me getting myself off yet hes allow to ...

ahhh theres just to much to mention. Ok he is very unsecure but we have been together 7 months and i have gave him no reason atall that i would ever cheat/finish with him and he still goes on like this. Hel text me and tell me he has visions of me being with other people and wel end up arguing...

The thing is i really do love this guy...but i just cant keep taking all of this crap.

that's not called overprotective, it's called POSSESSIVE and he's stalker material. dump his ass pronto.

*unsubscribes

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That would annoy the shit out of me. If I were you I would dump his ass right away. The way he's acting is completely stupid and unacceptable. And there is probably nothing you can do to change it. Chances are, it will get worse as time goes on. You should get out of this relationship.

Oh god, I had a boyfriend like that when I was 21, it was hell. I loved him, too, and always hoped he would change but he never did. They can't. It's nothing to do with you or how you behave, you'll never be able to quell their fear no matter how many nights you stay in watching TV with them.

You're just going to have to leave him. Or look back seven years down the line kicking yourself for missing out on some of the best fun you never had.

ahhh i know your both right , but i just feel like i have put so much into this relationship that i dont want to give up on it straight away. Iv noticed recently iv became alot more upfront about his ways and i think hes caught on the way hes acting is unacceptable.

ditch that zero and get yrself a hero..the guy obv has a problem..and not a cute one where he gets nervous, this is pretty grim..although I can get a bit freaked out too at times with my boyfriend, but i'm slightly/very paranoid at times...

hope you sort out yr problem!
best of luck

You need to get away from him

thanks. I mean example - I went out on saturday night with my 2 best girlfriends. I knew he was going to a party so i could go out and have a good time. Within 30 mins of being in the pub here he comes in saying the party was shit. Now, he couldnt understand that i was getting annoyed at him while i was TRYING to speak to my friends because he kept kissing me, touching me... i asked him if i could PLEASE talk to my friends and he was like ok ok ok so hed dissapear for like 10 mins then he would come right back and do the same thing. Over and over and over.... i couldnt even dance without him trying to get in the way so in the end i had to cut my night short and tell him wer better off just going home.

So, you never see anyone again, ever, in your lifetime ...
Sounds like fun

Seriously though, your options are rather limited -
Change or leave?

Or change the other person .. thats usually difficult though, no?

I would say dump him, dump him now. But I am guessing you aren't going to take that advice. So I guess you have to just lay it out, possibly in writing he can stick on his wall that the more possessive he gets over you to try and stop you leaving him, the more likely you are TO leave him. I think you need to lay down some ultimatums with him because otherwise he will crush your spirit.

he won't change.

eventually you will get sick of it and leave.

there's no advice in the world that is going to make this situation better or make him change. you leave or you deal with it. simple as.

Totally. The longer you will stay with him, the less self-confidence you'll have. And the harder it will be to go away even though he pushes your limits over and over. I bet you often feel guilty about him. LEAVE.

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You'll leave him, he'll change, you'll get back together. It's hard when you love somebody. That pattern will repeat, your friends will get bored of it – quickly. By the time you really, truly break it off they won't believe you. It'll take a while before you're able to bond with them again. He'll keep sticking his head into your life but you'll get stronger, slowly.

Or you can just skip all that and walk away now: one clean break, no forgiving or forgetting.

This sounds exactly like my sister's situation. She is dating the most insecure, over-possessive freak I have ever come across.

She cant talk to any of her friends. He goes through her cell phone, computer, etc. It's like a living hell but yet she stays with him. She's not any better too, but still.

Aren't relationships supposed to better and enhance your life not make them more miserable? And not to be rude but he's not even good looking. I say if the looks arent there and he acts this way then he needs to go. But she needs to wake up and relaize that he's really nothing special.

The only thing I can say is you should probably leave him. People like that usually don't change.

Ugh I really hate when people make this type of argument. There was another thread somewhere on here where this girl was saying "if you've been with someone for 3 years how can you just throw that away?" That is the dumbest argument for staying with someone. Just because you've been with someone for a certain amount of time, or put "work" into the relationship, that by itself is no reason to stay with someone. If the relationship is not working then it's just not working. any more time you stay in the relationship will be more time wasted.

You'll keep stalling until you go crazy. Then you'll leave him. It will take until you are at your breaking point.

haha, where do you keep finding these creepy guys?

guys like him are total sociopaths, they'll end up alienating you from everyone you know because they're paranoid insecure little boys.

this is level two of abusive man who will eventually kill a woman.

level one is super charming and amazing. only a sociopath can pull it off. i dont care how great you think he is except "for this one eency problem" get rid of that guy. fucking FAST.

it's textbook control. next he will hit you for making the wrong choice. and by that time youll feel that hes probably right to hit you for making "such astupid mistake"

tell him to get fucked

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Six hundred pounds of sin
Was grinning at my window
All I said was "Come on in".
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a close friend of mine had a bf like this in high school. eventually me and a mutual friend of ours quit hanging out with her.

so decide: your boyfriend or your friends. who mean more to you? who will ultimately be there for the long term? seldom is it the men, but that's your choice to make. be prepared to live like a prisoner, though.

this sounds frighteningly like my husband (separated). he was jealous of everything and everyone. he progressively got more possessive as time went on and within several years the only people i saw were people i worked with and his family, save for the EXTREMELY rare friends that were able to handle his outbursts. oh yeah, did i mention the outbursts? you'll start seeing them soon. you'll be cheating, talking shit behind his back, "betraying" him for any number of people/ideas/music/food/pets. 5 years, 30 patched holes in various walls, 3 broken windsheilds, and 1 almost completely destroyed self esteem later, i finally got out. AFTER he started telling me he was going to snap my fucking neck and bury me where no one would find me.

not saying that your guy is going to turn out to be a complete psycho for certain... but joe was just "over protective" in the begining too. you seriously want to reconsider staying with him.

eta: and i think it goes a little bit further than just who is more important, your friends vs. him. i would find it more akin to your safety/sanity vs. him in the long run.