desperatly need advice...
so, i kind of need some advice. i fell in love with one of my closest friends. everyone thinks that he and i are dating, but we arent. last night, we had a conversation and i have no idea how to make it so things dont get awkward and i dont know where i am supposed to go now...
this is the conversation we had last night:
[we were talking about a friend of ours that asked me out on a date and then our ex's and mine arent awesome. so that fills you into where the conversation starts...]
chris: but you knew these things about them...so why were they your choice??
chris: mine developed their sympoms later in life
me: haha. if i say what i honestly feel like is the answer to that....it willl sound like a pity party. and thats not what i want at all. but i'll say it. i am not a pretty girl chris. i am not a "great catch". I am loud and obnoxious. i am not what guys are looking for...
me: no pity party. thanks
chris: well your not looking for a pity party so now i dont know how to respond to that...but i do disagree
me: i dont know. the great guys never seem to want me back...
chris: i wanna say something but im not sure if i should
me: just do it
chris: yea but im not 100% sure
me: just say it babe.
chris: that if what i wanna say is relevant...or has any bearing...and i dont want to come across as pompass...but i dunno
me: you wont sound pompass...
chris: are we avoiding something?
chris: i dunno
me: except that you do...
chris: are WE avoiding something
me: ...i think we might be.
chris: why do u think that is
me: honestly? i dont know. you?
chris: i dunno...i guess i just dont think i could handle it right now
me: i understand that compeletly.
chris: ...and i feel like maybe ive been avoiding your hints cause of that
me: i'm sorry that i put you in that situation...
chris: you dont have anything to be sorry for
chris: or maybe i just feel like an *** cause i know how you feel? see this is the pompass part
me: dont feel like an *** chris. yes. i like you. but that doesnt mean that i am going to be angry/upset that you dont feel the same way. i knew that you didnt/dont so i never pushed it. you are a really good friend of mine. as long as we stay friends i will never be angry/upset. if that makes any sence.
chris: well i do feel bad cause i know exactly how u feel...i feel like the girls that im interested in never give me a second look. Theres somethin about me they dont like i guess. But i cant explain us because we click sooo well but i dont know what it is.
me: its called chemistry chris. if its not there its not there. you are my friend. i am happy with that. i guarentee it.
chris: yea well i feel like alot of people would describe what we have as chemistry but i dont feel it...and that tears me apart
me: babe. dont. seriously. when it all comes down to it. the only person that can truly know is you... and no one can blame you for something you do or dont feel. i sure as hell dont
chris: aright..well i dont really know what else to say..but im glad we stopped swerving around that
me: me too.
chris: k...well im seriously about to crash..but text me tommorow..i wanna know how ur days goin
me: good luck with exams and ****...i'll talk to you tomorrow.
chris: nighty night
me: go get a happy nappy dork
chris: u knowww
chris: at least ur dork means love
so. yeahh. we have gone to school together for 5 years. we went to highschool together and college together... i have liked him all 4 years of highschool. he and i got VERY close over this past year. and i have honestly. fell in love with him.
i need advice. anything. be blunt. i will take it.