Or when like repels like is it because they're both likely repellent? Is it something else? I think I would be good friends with myself, and I know relationships often start over shared interests, i know a few people who don't like each other cos they are after all more similar to that other person than they'd like to admit (this is without having been friends first, that's another story), but I also know they say opposites attract. I'm intrigued by people who seem very different in personality and seem to rock it. What do you think of opposites attracting? Do you think people who are similar more often repel each other or remain friends?

I'm just sayin', hypothetically.

I personally think the "opposites attract" thing is bullshit. I need to have a lot in common with someone to be friends with them or to date them.

I think for a casual friendship/relationship the opposite thing doesn't matter, but for good friends and real relationships you have to have things in common. Things that people can bond over often start a friendship immediately. Sharing the same taste in music and movies makes a huge difference. Once I met this guy, and I thought he was just some random teenage guy like all the rest, and I'm sure he thought I was some random shallow teenage girl. But we started talking about music and movies and tv shows and we both had a ton of stuff in common, like talking about David Lynch, some indie bands that are mildly popular, Arrested Development, etc. And we're friends now because of that.

My boyfriend and I are a mix of freaky similarities of the "there's only us two in the world" kind, and polar opposites that would lead people to say "there's just no hope for you two". Although we know better than them. There is hope!

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the guy i'm seeing is total opposite to me physically but we are very similar in all other ways.

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it keeps things interesting, carbon copies of you could lead to a relationship getting dull after a while and you don't learn as many new things. As long as you have some of the important things in common and can compromise on the others, it's all that matters.

me and mine are pretty fuckin' similar in bizarre ways. apparently at some point in our lives before we ever knew each other (or at least shared this with one another) we both had the same fantasy of being hermits locked up in attic apartments in some cold, northern cities (minneapolis and chicago respectively, i think it was) and writing or some other form of artistic expression from sunup to sundown with only a beloved cat to keep company with.

yeah, we're going to be old, bitter and miserly together

we're exact opposites on other stuff. for example, i tend to be more practical and realistic (both in daydreams and real life) with a slight grasp on necessities whereas he's more fantastical and idealistic both in imagination and real life but without any real idea of how to acheive. we both sadly are afraid of success, depressed and chronically too broke, though. ah, it's somehow fun in a macabre way and the differences we have seem to help us pull each other out of stupid bottomless pits.

i dunno this confuses me
if i was TOTALLY opposite to someone, we wouldnt even be able to talk to each other or make conversation because thats total opposite to me.

i think you can be opposite in ways to someone but if you are attacted to them there has to be something about them which is similar i think. a mix of opposites and similarities is the way to go. being too similar leaves no mystery

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I've met couples who have nothing in common but get along great, usually they have similar temprements though.
I tend to like people who have similar interests but not exactly the same, like bookstore said if you were too similar it would be boring.

what about when like repels like? I sometimes feel a strong irrational dislike to someone I just met, and I'm not sure why. Usually it's because that person strikes me as shady, but I don't think I ever remember disliking someone who reminded me of myself.

Define opposites.

This raises a question what makes a man? Is it his interests, personality, emotional disposition, job, status, wealth, etc...

Why people form relationships is a very complex symptom and to reduce it to a simple axiom such as 'opposites attract' is convienient if not a little naive and short sighted.

People come together for more reasons than I care to mention. What forms the basis of attraction is beyond the scope of this thread by far. People devote their entire lives to studying attraction and relationships without even breaking ice.

This said, I am by far not one of these people, and offer no answers or insight into either relationships or attraction. The only personal input I can give relates back to my situation. Sometimes people are in situations that force them to search for another human to relate to, either out of lonliness and desperation or because of other more sinister motives such as deception or sex. A persons situation and motives play more than people think in the reasons behind attraction and relationships. A marriage of convienience, settling for second best, lowering your standards just for intercourse etc...

Well, thats my post on the subject.

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I'm not really sure if opposities attract, based on my personal experience. I, for one, need people in my life who are like me. They don't have to be like me in every way, but I think it's important in terms of relating to one another, and isn't that what friendship is all about?

I've tried being friends with people who are very different from me in terms of personality and I find that it really doesnt work. In fact, I'm just now realizing that a good friendship of many years is just not going to work. We are way too different and it's too much work to try and see it otherwise.

But I DO think having differences, not TOO many differences, is a good thing because it almost creates a sense of mystery about someone. It leaves you wanting to know more about them. Which I think is good in terms of building a friendship/relationship.

Yeh, well love, sex, and relationships are pretty much different subjects. I think I mean in relationships which encompasses friendship and family relations as well. I'm really intrigued by friends or couples who have a great relationship with each other but seem to be completely opposite people. I try to imagine what they could possibly talk about to each other for so long.

Also I've noticed at my job that a lot of guys have a 'work spouse' and she's often completely different in personality from the type of woman the guy actually is attracted to, but if you hadn't known better you may have thought the work spouse was the actual spouse. And so on.

"work spouse"? What is that? I'm curious.

I think they do. The last thing I want is to be knowing all the time what that other person is (likely to be) thinking, or what their reactions will be, or their lines and patterns of thinking on topics. Maybe boring people are okay with those dynamics. Im not.

i was thinking just the same thing

Id appreciate it if you didn't copy me all the time.

that avis looks awful familiar

Take its sentiment to heart.

i don't buy the 'opposites attract'-thing much, either. i mean, the total opposite of yourself is surely going to be something you just dislike? i mean we choose the values and stuff we live by, we all have something we feel strongly about and we're proud of it, we listen to the music and read the books and watch the tv and go to the clubs we do because we choose to, because other clubs are rubbish and other music says nothing to you and other tv is drivel. or else we'd all listen to/read/watch/go to the stuff our antithesis does!? do you see what i mean? you make choices about who you are and what you do with your life, it doesn't just fall into your lap. so...i tend to m