ok, so say if you were seeing how it goes with someone you know nothing serious and they took shit loads of pills and what not and so did all their friendship group...but you aren't into all that, would you find it got in the way of things..? I mean, with my ex boyfriend he would sometimes do pills but only very rarely and so it never felt an issue but this guy seems to do all the time...and it's never interested me to be honest..

If you're really against it, then no the relationship would probably not work. But if you don't care that he does drugs, I guess it could work.

I'd simply swap whatever pills he's taking with laxatives and sit back to watch as hilarity ensues. That'll learn 'im.
It would work in some kind of bawdy teen comedy anyway.

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[quote=Squarepusher;960966]I'd simply swap whatever pills he's taking with laxatives and sit back to watch as hilarity ensues. That'll learn 'im.
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hahahaha! i like that idea

If he respects your decision not to do it and if he really likes you, it can work.

Who knows? You could end up being a good influence on him.

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well i went out with a boy once who took lots of drugs eg pills coke speed etc and all i had ever done was smoked weed and i had never considered doing anything else. and now i do coke and pills from time to time as a result of going out with this guy. so i guess you should chuck him in case you get sucked in by accident

i went out with a big drinker once. and i'm an occasional drinker, though i love being drunk. and it was hopeless. it very much got in the way

I have scared boys off with my occasional drug usage, and I've finished with boys because they don't indulge with me.

Those are my thoughts.

Have you ever sat in a room full of drunk people while being sober and have them get on your nerves so bad you got drunk yourself so you could tolerate them?

Yeah, same idea here.

A little is not bad for recreation, but don't go making it your life's work.

yes it does

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Thanks for the replies, this is a tricky situation...you know I rang him last night when I was pissed and waiting for my taxi home and I loved talking to him for ages at three am about nothing and everything, with him adding in little sentences in spanish and I remember thinking and i'm sure i probably told him thatr he reminded me of River Phoenix...and then my drunk muddled mind reminded me why...this guy was out of it on E and now was smoking weed (which doesn't bother me in the slightest) for the come down...i don't know, i really just think it could get in the way if he wants to go to his mates house after being out and a take a shit load more crap (which he was intending) and I don't and he's younger than me and we have completely different circles of friends and and and and.... oh i don't know maybe this isn't about the drugs issue at all.

it's pretty well-known that users date users, otherwise it probably wont work out. If he's high all the time and you're not then that makes you a drag to be around, unfortunately.

Unless you want to get involved, I'd just dump him before feelings get hurt.

Yeah it probably won't work. Plain and simple

thanks for all the advice...i think I put a lid on this one and forget about it, you're all very right

nope i wouldnt.
saying that i got with my current boyfriend last year when i knew he done pills and coke. Thank god hes over that stage now but theres no way i would of stayed with him if he was still doing it.

well. if this is what he does on his lads' nights out, then it shouldn't impact on you two as a couple. i mean, he won't be taking loads of pills when he's on dates with you. ...will he?!

also, to second shy violet: some people are reeeeeeally anti-drugs. i don't entirely get it, personally, but plenty of people are. but i'm guessing it's not a deal-breaker for you, or you wouldn't have got as far as posting about it..?

like i said, he has his life and you have yours. i'm not really into, like, pills and raving and that lark but my ex is. whereas i enjoy a night in with food, wine, chit-chat and lots of spliffs. oh, but wait, he always came for those nights with me, too. he basically just took anything going. haha. anyway what i meant was: as long as what he gets upto with his mates doesn't impinge on your relationship, where's the harm? at least you know he's sociable and err up for stuff!

I dated a guy who did (does) coke, not all the time or anything, but when he was on it he was insufferable.

I think it depends heavily on the way they react. I drink quite a lot, but it doesn't make me violent or unpleasant, so I figure if someone didn't drink we could probably make a go of it. Whereas two people who do the same drugs might not be compatible if one of them is markedly more affected by them.

if you're not dead against it and his drug-taking doesn't impact on your relationship, it can work.

if it does impact on your relationship it's gonna be a problem. by impact i mean stuff like him frequently cancelling on you cos he feels too ill from the night before, or ditching you to go do drugs, etc.

this thread is of great interest to me right now, as i am having a little crush on a guy i know who deeeefinitely has a problem. but i can't quite turn the crush off. i reckon i will try my damnedest to keep it in the realm of friendship. but damn. why do i have to like 'em so wiry?