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01-28-2008, 06:41 AM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 70
| | | getting over someone you havent spoken to in 2 years its a long story (and amatuear) so ill keep it very short...
This guy (dave*) liked me for two years and in those two years and within those two years it was sort of on and off. During the "off" time I went out with another guy but only for 2 months. I was stupid back then and didnt realise how much I hurt his feelings and sort of lead dave on at times. At the end of the two years we were friends at that time but he was still hung up on me and sort of liked this other girl Sam. I went on holidays for six weeks and when I came back I found out they were going out..this is where my problems started. I was starting to like him again and then when I found out this news i was really hurt that i had lost him. I avoided him 100 percent in order to get over him (coincedently I changed schools), and as a result two years later I still think about him and how things could have been. I dont know if im thinking like this because he was the last (and only) guy to have these feelings for me, or if its because we just stopped talking altogether before I went on holidays with no goodbyes or anything, I never go the chance to say how sorry I was for leading him at sometimes...
recently I have tried to communicate with him through msn, facebook, etc and just attempting to make small talk so i can eventually say that im sorry. However this has not worked at all and I feel he wants nothing to do with me as he rarely responds.
now this is where I need ur help/opinions:
should I further try to talk to him and apolagize even though I have clearly tried to do so countless times with no result, so then I can clear everything up between us, which will hopefully help me move on from him.
or
dont bother with him anymore becuase its too awkward, and hope that i can move on next time i have a boyfriend. he is completely over me and thats why he doesnt respond to me.
thanks for your time and help in advance I know this is so amatuear... but thats what i am. | 
01-28-2008, 08:47 AM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chicago/NYC
Posts: 1,564
| | | Just let it go. There's no point in apologizing now. It doesn't even sound like you really did anything wrong. You just went out with another guy. It was 2 years ago, it's over, move on.
Since he is not responding to you when you try to contact him, he's making it pretty clear he doesn't want to talk. There are other guys out there! You don't need to dwell on this one. | 
01-28-2008, 08:51 AM
|  | Still ill.... | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A hell of my own making
Posts: 253
| | | I agree with ShyViolet,just let it go,why waste any more of your life thinking about him and the situation,walk away and don`t look back.Life is too short for you to be hung up on this,you have nothing to apologise for. | 
01-28-2008, 09:08 AM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: UK
Posts: 2,738
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by halfangel its a long story (and amatuear) so ill keep it very short...
This guy (dave*) liked me for two years and in those two years and within those two years it was sort of on and off. During the "off" time I went out with another guy but only for 2 months. I was stupid back then and didnt realise how much I hurt his feelings and sort of lead dave on at times. At the end of the two years we were friends at that time but he was still hung up on me and sort of liked this other girl Sam. I went on holidays for six weeks and when I came back I found out they were going out..this is where my problems started. I was starting to like him again and then when I found out this news i was really hurt that i had lost him. I avoided him 100 percent in order to get over him (coincedently I changed schools), and as a result two years later I still think about him and how things could have been. I dont know if im thinking like this because he was the last (and only) guy to have these feelings for me, or if its because we just stopped talking altogether before I went on holidays with no goodbyes or anything, I never go the chance to say how sorry I was for leading him at sometimes...
recently I have tried to communicate with him through msn, facebook, etc and just attempting to make small talk so i can eventually say that im sorry. However this has not worked at all and I feel he wants nothing to do with me as he rarely responds.
now this is where I need ur help/opinions:
should I further try to talk to him and apolagize even though I have clearly tried to do so countless times with no result, so then I can clear everything up between us, which will hopefully help me move on from him.
or
dont bother with him anymore becuase its too awkward, and hope that i can move on next time i have a boyfriend. he is completely over me and thats why he doesnt respond to me.
thanks for your time and help in advance I know this is so amatuear... but thats what i am. | I'm willing to bet he hasn't been the 'last and only guy to have had these feelings for you', you've just become so obsessed!! that you've been blind to everything else! i'm not being horrible, i know how easy it is to dwell on something and get completely infatuated and take it out of all proportions.
i hope you don't mind me saying, but you sound very insecure, and i think this is what has made you become so obsessed - you were so suprised this guy liked you so much that you saw him as a life-preserver. but look at the facts - you only wanted him when you could no longer have him!
you mention changing schools - this means you don't have some 'biological clock' (does this exist? i'm not sure i buy it? ask me when i'm 40?) ticking. you're dead young, let it go. how are you supposed to enjoy being young and free when you're stuck on something that happened years ago?
i say give over with these attempts to apologise. if someone who had wronged me two years ago tracked me down to apologise, unless they were doing some kind of 'my name is earl'-thing, i'd probably think them a little odd, to be honest! and wonder what they'd been upto these last two years... of course you don't forget people hurting you in the past but you move on and everything starts to look different.
now you've got to the stage where you don't need to avoid him, good! if you run into him or he facebooks you or whatever, don't mention the past, just be a nice, interesting type of person he'll want to know now. in two years, he could have changed beyond all recognition - you might find you don't want to know him anymore! | 
01-28-2008, 09:40 AM
|  | I'm the hot one. | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Dying 100 times
Posts: 6,660
| | | ... burn effigies of them | 
01-30-2008, 06:39 AM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 70
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by lilybett I'm willing to bet he hasn't been the 'last and only guy to have had these feelings for you', you've just become so obsessed!! that you've been blind to everything else! i'm not being horrible, i know how easy it is to dwell on something and get completely infatuated and take it out of all proportions.
i hope you don't mind me saying, but you sound very insecure, and i think this is what has made you become so obsessed - you were so suprised this guy liked you so much that you saw him as a life-preserver. but look at the facts - you only wanted him when you could no longer have him!
you mention changing schools - this means you don't have some 'biological clock' (does this exist? i'm not sure i buy it? ask me when i'm 40?) ticking. you're dead young, let it go. how are you supposed to enjoy being young and free when you're stuck on something that happened years ago?
i say give over with these attempts to apologise. if someone who had wronged me two years ago tracked me down to apologise, unless they were doing some kind of 'my name is earl'-thing, i'd probably think them a little odd, to be honest! and wonder what they'd been upto these last two years... of course you don't forget people hurting you in the past but you move on and everything starts to look different.
now you've got to the stage where you don't need to avoid him, good! if you run into him or he facebooks you or whatever, don't mention the past, just be a nice, interesting type of person he'll want to know now. in two years, he could have changed beyond all recognition - you might find you don't want to know him anymore! | thankyou | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Linear Mode |
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