I'm sure at one point or another I probably posted about this before...and I know I am being really immature to feel like this, but God I freak out when my man has a lad night. He only has one like one every week or so but each time instead of going out with MY friends like a sane and rational girlfriend-I spend all my time obsessing about what HE is doing and getting crazy thoughts he will leave me. Can anyone here relate or have any advice. Please don't write back that I am being a stupid bitch cause trust me, I already know that. I just can't stop even though I KNOW I am thinking irrationally.

Because you're really paranoid?

^ in a nutshell, what she said

Advice, force yourself to go out with your friends when he's with his
Do you have a reason to feel like this, problems in the relationship? Because its not normal.

I love when my boyfriend goes out with his mates cos I get drunken phonecalls...its good banter and they all make me laugh. Do you like his friends? Do they like you? Do you even know them?

I'm paranoid for sure. He hasn't given me a reason to not trust him. I guess I am carrying lots of baggage from past relationships (even though me and him have been together a yea and a half)....I don't know why I see every girl as a threat. He isn't even WITH girls, he is at his house with friends...I guess I get paranoid they will bring girls. I know I am being ridiculous but I can't help worrying. I want to.

It's ok I know what you mean, when my bf went out without me I used to be paranoid it was with this girl he was with before we went out....
But the best thing about lads nights is that you can see your friends so organise a girly night and you will not obsess I promise!!

Snap out of it. That's all there is to say. There probably aren't any girls, and even if somebody did bring girls, those girls wouldn't go after him after finding out that he was spoken for. And even if they DID try it, he wouldn't fall for it, since he's with you.

Stop worrying for no reason and enjoy your life and relationship, ffs.

You girls are SO right. Thank you. I am really trying hard to do what you say as your advice is logical, healthy and great. I want to start thinking more rationally before I scare him away with my paranoia. I AM in therapy by the way and trying to work through these feelings and normally think I am doing quiet well, then lad night comes up and I fall apart all again.

I never get drunk phone calls

he might. this kind of thing often is a self fulfilling paranoia

Um. Why don't you go out with your friends?

I think the reason you're being paranoid is that you are way insecure, and it shows. It seems like you are terrified of loosing him and staying alone. If you keep this behavior he’ll end up leaving you because nobody likes the feeling of being trapped in anyway and he will sense it eventually...

If I end up moving to where my boyfriend lives (I hope to, and soon) I worry that he'll end up all controlling, because he ain't so social and I want to hit the town every few weeks, and have beers down the pub after hockey matches. He may disapprove.

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Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

insecurity/jealosy is the fast track to lonelyville.

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"Moderate intoxication includes additional abnormalities such as hyperactive bowel sounds,"

it's true. i think this is probably my problem. well that and i don't like anyone, ever.

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"I knew I was too late - and I was glad something bloodthirsty waited in the wings. For in failing at this, I forfeited any desire to live."

Misanthropy is hot, though.

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

it seems that the guys i know don't really agree.

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"I knew I was too late - and I was glad something bloodthirsty waited in the wings. For in failing at this, I forfeited any desire to live."

So? Do you need their approval?

well if they're hot, then yes. i do need approval.

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"I knew I was too late - and I was glad something bloodthirsty waited in the wings. For in failing at this, I forfeited any desire to live."

It's really damn depressing how posts like this make the lot of women just seem really insecure.

It's a night out with his friends. Be happy he has friends. Go out with yours. If you don't have friends, get some. Nothing is more annoying in any relationship than someone who decides to dump their baggae into your lap and expect you to fix it.

My husband has always had boy nights and boy trips even when we were dating. I am one of the few girlfriends that doesn't freak out. Needless to say the boys like me but some of the wives think I am too trusting. I wouldn't have married my husband if I didn't trust him. What really got them was when the boys went to a stag in Vegas and I wrote my hubby a note with $25 US attached for a lap dance. It doesn't bug me because he is coming back to me but a lot of people think I am too trusting.
He is the same with me.

I don't get being jealous.