i can totally relate with you.

i don't even think it's paranoia. like gwen says "everybody wants everybody else"

i try to accept that it's possible my boyfriends could meet somebody else, realize it will suck if that happens but that i'll get over it eventually and just hope for the best.

so if whatever is going to happen is going to happen anyway:

a) freak out secretly, but don't let other people in on the fact you're a jealous mess.
it will only make you look pathetic and possibly push people away

b) go out with your friends despite your worries.
it won't totally help, but will likely be more of a distraction than sitting at home. semi-fun is better than no fun.

The people who say they NEVER get jealous are the same people who say that they never fart. Or who have "never been sick". YEAH RIGHT.

I used to when i was in uni and he was back in my home town. If he'd go out with his work friends (whom i'd not met) I'd be worried that because we hadnt seen each other in weeks, he'd forget about me or think that there were 'better' girls out there.

But then i figured, i go out with my friends that he's not met all the time and i'd be so annoyed if he was paranoid about it. We've been together 4 years so i kind of just told myself to get over it. If he didnt want to be with me, he wouldnt be. Simple as that. The same goes for you; he comes home to you; he doesnt lie about that fact that he's having a lads night out. therefore he's comfortable with you, he's not going to cheat and he loves you.

In these situations when he goes out and I stay in I've realised I do sometimes have a problem with it...I get jelous of the fact he's out and I'm not, I want to be out too, not necessarily with him. Sometimes with him I guess, we have the sameish circle of friend.

My problem is not with him going out its with me going out.

i always take this kind of paranoia as an indicator that something is off and i should be worried. i used to worry about my ex whenever he was "out with the lads" (even though i pushed my feelings to one side) and it turned out i was right to - he cheated on me twice that i know of (which suggests to me it was probably more than that, i just didn't know about it).

i never worry about my current partner and i just can't imagine him doing anything. he's in india for five weeks and while i miss him insanely (and he's only been gone a day! five long weeks to go) i don't worry about him one iota. not even a little bit. i think it's because he's a trustworthy guy. i know he's not the type to fuck around.

so basically. that's how i feel about it.
BUT. i am not you. maybe you are just needlessly paranoid.

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I CARRIED A WATERMELON