Right....
Ive been with my bf for 4 and a half months now
and still he hasnt said 'l love you'
now this is my first serious relationship so i dont know when the right time is to say it but ive talked to one of my friends the other week and she cant believe he hasnt said it yet. Now this friend is good mates with the bf so maybe its coz she is surprised that the bf being the kind of guy he is (i.e sweet, romantic etc) he should have said it by now- i dont know =/

Now our relationship started off with him very much wearing his heart on his sleeve, very much into me- always telling me how much he liked me , how happy i made him etc etc
then two and a half months in, he turned around and said that although he wanted to love me he couldnt because the love wasnt there to give- on account of how his last relationship ended ( basically what happend was they just sort of grew apart and he tuk the whole thing very badly because shed been a big part of his life for a year and a half and when they split up she started going out with someone about a week later). He said he only viewed his ex as a friend but thought that perhaps id come along at the wrong time and he hadnt had the time to get over that relationhip( he started going out with me a month after he split with her altho when i first started going out with him i had no idea it was that short a time as i may have had second thoughts).He said that he never compared this relationship to that one, how he has a much better time with me than he ever did with her and that he likes me more than he ever liked her ( altho i dont understand what he meant wen he said that as ,if he liked me mor then her ,and he was in love with her, how does he not love me) but he wasnt over the actual breakup.
Ok so this was all very sad and i thought well perhaps the thing to do is break up or go on a break at least so he could clear his head out but he was adament that we stay together because we 'both knew we werent meant to break up'. so we didnt.

A few days later I was stil feeling very much confused as to what I was meant to do like was i supposed to wait around until he got over that breakup? so i asked him that and then he said that the past few days had given him a chance to think about things and that basically how this girl was his first love and how you never really get over your first love and he said if he became my first love there would never be a part of me that would get over it etc etc but like he thought that the whole convo we had had a few day earlier was because he'd been under a lot of pressure recently and he was just picking at all the good things in his life that didnt need piking at( which i kindof understood coz yeh hes had a big career change and stuff recently) And that all those things hed said in that conversation wasnt true anymore. so yeh a bit strange.

And now here we are a few months after that. Our relationship is realy gud but every now and then i think about all that stuff he said and it still upsets me abit altho id never dare bring it up.
I love him, i realy do but i havnt told him this. And im realy unsure as to wether i should tell him this. Like i think you shouldnt tell someone that you love them just because you want them to say it back , i mean obviously i would love for him to say it back but its not the end of the world if he doesnt. im just worried itll b awkward i guess.

Im just wanting some advice on wether i should tell him i love him or jus leave it. oh n yr opinions on the other things too would be most appreciated, thanx

the series?

There's no right time.
If you love him, tell him. Maybe he's just too scared to say it in case you don't love him back?

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I really don't feel inclined to read all of that, can you sum up?

but based on the first couple of sentences, I think you should probably get knocked up and force him into a loveless marriage. Or get his friends to force him (preferably with violence) to say that he loves you.

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Just say it FFS.

Just say it.

I didn't say it until we had been together for six months. He said it on the fifth month, I think it was, during sex which I laughed at 'cause I thought he meant he loved the sex. He clarified everything though, and I told him I loved him, too. It's a hard thing to say, but once you say it such a relief.

Maybe he doesn't love you?

How old are? I don't want to sound rude or anything, but you type and talk like you're really young, but you said your boyfriend had a career?

Don't say "I love you" unless you mean it, and it's okay if they don't say it back at the same time, if you guys continue to be together he'll most likely say it eventually. You don't base love on a relationship's time period.

that's what i thought.

until i tried to read the first post, i didn't even think of that other word.

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[ o ]==#

"A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong.” - Stella Adler

love is a word that describes actions and feelings which he shows towards you. it is lovely to hear it, but at the end of the day if he is being loving its not all that bad.

my bf keeps skirting around the subject but he says he's afraid i'll laugh and not say it back. for the record i wouldn't we're just really playful and he said he gets shy around me

enjoy him being nice to you

I don't have cable anymore and haven't been following


anyways
4 months don't scare him
4 months is not enough time to find out if he's a good fuck or has any sort of freaky fetish

i couldn't read all that. jesus.

anyways, if you feel it say it.

i said it first. there's nothing wrong with the girl saying it before the guy.

How can you really love someone after 3 months especially if he's just a boyfriend and you aren't kindred spirits? To love someone, you have to really give to someone a lot of yourself, and not just for yourself but for them. The word love in hebrew ahuva is composed of the words 'I give' so love in the hebrew language is linked to giving. Love in the secular world is more selfish. It's 'what can I get' rather 'how can I give' or 'how do you make me feel'. Love there is more like infatuation. Even if you think you really care for somebody, if it's all about how they make you feel, that initial surge of energy can wear off. Loving someone means giving of yourself not for yourself but to help them. When you are in that mindset, you are less focused on getting something in return. That's why I find it hard to imagine someone falling in love with someone after 3 months. To get to that level of selfless giving would take years, I would think. Ofcourse someone can have a wonderful connection with someone else. That might be friendship or that might be infatuation but it's probably not love if it has only been 3 months and you are not married or anything like that.

You are acting like its now or never. Its only been 4 months, breathe ffs!

Just chill out

if you over analyze, you're just gonna drive yourself nuts - I learned that the hard way.

I was most definitely in love with my first serious boyfriend after 4 months, but I didn't tell him as I knew it was really fast. I showed him with actions how much I cared about him and vice versa. He told me he loved me about 6 months into our relationship and that's when I said it back.

There's no need to rush into stuff like that.. guys get a little freaked out with that word, so, in my opinion, it's better to just wait it out until either they say it first, or you know he feels the same and is just nervous about saying it first.

and about the whole previous girlfriend thing - again.. chill out. if he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be with you. You're together, you're (seemingly) happy, everythings going good.. .just live in that moment and be happy!

i remember i thought the same thing u did when i first was going out with my boyfriend.. y isnt he saying it? so i took matters into my own hands and said it first.. BAD idea.. he told me that he didnt wanna say it back because he wasnt sure if he loved me or not.. blah blah. i think u should just wait, and if he loves you, he'll confess it to the world!

hahaha