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Old 09-18-2007, 12:52 PM
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The stupid little L word.......

Right....
Ive been with my bf for 4 and a half months now
and still he hasnt said 'l love you'
now this is my first serious relationship so i dont know when the right time is to say it but ive talked to one of my friends the other week and she cant believe he hasnt said it yet. Now this friend is good mates with the bf so maybe its coz she is surprised that the bf being the kind of guy he is (i.e sweet, romantic etc) he should have said it by now- i dont know =/

Now our relationship started off with him very much wearing his heart on his sleeve, very much into me- always telling me how much he liked me , how happy i made him etc etc
then two and a half months in, he turned around and said that although he wanted to love me he couldnt because the love wasnt there to give- on account of how his last relationship ended ( basically what happend was they just sort of grew apart and he tuk the whole thing very badly because shed been a big part of his life for a year and a half and when they split up she started going out with someone about a week later). He said he only viewed his ex as a friend but thought that perhaps id come along at the wrong time and he hadnt had the time to get over that relationhip( he started going out with me a month after he split with her altho when i first started going out with him i had no idea it was that short a time as i may have had second thoughts).He said that he never compared this relationship to that one, how he has a much better time with me than he ever did with her and that he likes me more than he ever liked her ( altho i dont understand what he meant wen he said that as ,if he liked me mor then her ,and he was in love with her, how does he not love me) but he wasnt over the actual breakup.
Ok so this was all very sad and i thought well perhaps the thing to do is break up or go on a break at least so he could clear his head out but he was adament that we stay together because we 'both knew we werent meant to break up'. so we didnt.

A few days later I was stil feeling very much confused as to what I was meant to do like was i supposed to wait around until he got over that breakup? so i asked him that and then he said that the past few days had given him a chance to think about things and that basically how this girl was his first love and how you never really get over your first love and he said if he became my first love there would never be a part of me that would get over it etc etc but like he thought that the whole convo we had had a few day earlier was because he'd been under a lot of pressure recently and he was just picking at all the good things in his life that didnt need piking at( which i kindof understood coz yeh hes had a big career change and stuff recently) And that all those things hed said in that conversation wasnt true anymore. so yeh a bit strange.

And now here we are a few months after that. Our relationship is realy gud but every now and then i think about all that stuff he said and it still upsets me abit altho id never dare bring it up.
I love him, i realy do but i havnt told him this. And im realy unsure as to wether i should tell him this. Like i think you shouldnt tell someone that you love them just because you want them to say it back , i mean obviously i would love for him to say it back but its not the end of the world if he doesnt. im just worried itll b awkward i guess.

Im just wanting some advice on wether i should tell him i love him or jus leave it. oh n yr opinions on the other things too would be most appreciated, thanx

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Old 09-18-2007, 12:56 PM
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the series?
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Old 09-18-2007, 02:11 PM
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There's no right time.
If you love him, tell him. Maybe he's just too scared to say it in case you don't love him back?
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Old 09-18-2007, 02:14 PM
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I really don't feel inclined to read all of that, can you sum up?

but based on the first couple of sentences, I think you should probably get knocked up and force him into a loveless marriage. Or get his friends to force him (preferably with violence) to say that he loves you.
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Old 09-18-2007, 02:15 PM
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Just say it FFS.
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