oh lord, i wish i could cut out the part of me that wants to kiss boys

i really wanted to cut lolzzzzzzz i haven't in years BUT this boy is the only one who could make me want to.
i had to tell this boy who i've loved for four years (four years of agonising shit and drama and really good nice times) that he can't be in my life anymore. and i didn't want to.
cut cut cut
he's always been my secret weakness, i've taken shit from him that i would NEVER accept from anybody else. i understand the 'i love him' sentiment expressed by women on the jerry springer show: because i do love him.
and we're the same, and he knows me
but he's bad for me and now he's gone.
goddamn. i just want to cry. but i can't. oh lord.